Guard and Advance

Lord's Day 43
Q. What is God's will for you in the ninth commandment? (You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.)

A. God's will is that I never give false testimony against anyone, twist no one's words, not gossip or slander, nor join in condemning anyone without a hearing or without a just cause.

Rather, in court and everywhere else, I should avoid lying and deceit of every kind; these are devices the devil himself uses, and they would call down on me God's intense anger. I should love the truth, speak it candidly, and openly acknowledge it. And I should do what I can to guard and advance my neighbor's good name.

How can we actively guard and advance our neighbor’s name?
The following words are paraphrased from Martha Peace's book "Becoming a Titus 2 Woman" and are found on pages 39 and 40.

We can guard by standing up to gossips, say something like, “If we continue to talk about this or I continue to listen to you talk, we are likely to begin to gossip.” You may be thinking, “I do not want to gossip, but what should I do if another woman wants to talk to me about a problem she is having in a relationship and she does not know what to do.” Suppose she comes to you and has a problem with her friend at church. First determine if her desire is to respond righteously. If so, listen to just enough to give her biblical guidance such as, “You need to go to your friend and gently confront her with her sin. Your motive should be to restore her to a right relationship with God” (Gal. 6:1). Show her appropriate Scriptures and point out her responsibility. If she comes back to you and wants to talk about it again but does not want to talk to her friend, then do not listen but explain, “Last time we talked I listened to enough info to give you biblical guidance. Now if we continue to talk about it, we’ll just be gossiping.” Then encourage her to do what is right, pray with her, and follow up later by asking her if she did. But do not let yourself be pulled into gossip.

We can advance our neighbor's good name by saying words that are of “good repute.” Good repute words think of the other person’s reputation in a favorable light. These thoughts are the kind of thoughts we are to carefully consider and think about. Otherwise it is so easy to let a bad report out and become what we are warned against becoming: a malicious gossip. If there is something about the person that would paint them in a bad light, go TO the person and speak to them about it. Your demeanor should be gentle and loving, but truthful, clear, and straightforward. Give them hope. Do not give a bad report. Do not gossip.