Characteristics of a God-Pleaser

1. He realizes that he cannot please God apart from being a Christian.
2. He studies the Scriptures to understand exactly what it takes to please God.
3. In everything he does, he is conscious of pleasing God. For instance a People-Pleaser might think the following thoughts, versus a God Pleaser who thinks:

• What will others think if I do this? -vs- What will God think if I do this?
• Will I fail? vs. How will God be glorified if I fail?
• How can I make him love me? -vs- How can I show Christ’s love to him?
• Am I as pretty as she? -vs- Am I as godly as Christ?
• Will being his friend improve my image? -vs- Will being his friend glorify God?
• How can I keep him from rejecting me? -vs- How can I minister to him?
• Will I embarrass myself? -vs- Will I sin against God?
• What do my friends expect me to do? -vs- What does the Bible say I should do?

4. When he pleases people, he does so out of loving motives, not selfish ones. Especially in relation to giving, a People-Pleaser might have the following motives, versus the motives of a God-Pleaser:

• To boost his reputation -vs- To obey God, to show love to God
• To be commended -vs- To glorify God
• To be seen differently than he really is -vs- To minister to others
• To gain some other temporal reward -vs- To gain eternal rewards
• To avoid conflict -vs- To bring about peace
• To avoid rejection -vs- To show love to others
• To receive honor -vs- To worship God
• To receive praise -vs- To express gratitude to God
• To edify himself -vs- To edify another

5. He knows that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” Therefore, when it comes to relationships with other people, the God-Pleaser will avoid the following thoughts, and replace them with...

• I wonder what he’ll think of me. -vs- I wonder what his needs are.
• I’d better not let him get too close to me. -vs- Maybe I can be a good influence on him.
• If he gets too close, he’ll realize I’m not perfect and then he’ll reject me. -vs- What matters is not what he thinks of me but how I can minister to him.
• I’ve got to keep him from finding out about my problems. -vs- I wonder if he has any problems that I can help him solve God’s way?
• I’ll probably make a fool of myself. -vs- If I make a fool of myself, so be it. I’m more concerned about meeting his needs than I am about what he thinks of me.

6. He considers amending not only his actions, but also his thoughts and motives.

• What can I wear to the party that will not make me look fat? -vs- To whom can I minister at this party?
• I don’t smoke, drink, chew, or go with girls who do. -vs- My goal is to do nothing that will harm my body (the Holy Spirit’s temple) or bring reproach to the name of Christ.
• My pastor will be disappointed if he finds out that I went to that movie. -vs- I will not go to any movie that will violate my conscience.
• I’ve got to do my homework if I don’t want to be embarrassed. -vs- I’ve got to do my homework if I want to be a faithful steward.
• I’ve got to go read by Bible now because it’s late and my parents expect me to read it every day. -vs- I’m going to try to read my Bible every day because it’s so vital to my spiritual growth.
• I’ve got to learn how to stop putting my foot in my mouth. -vs- What is it in my heart that tempts me to say such foolish thing? Or: What can I say that will edify others or bring glory to God?

7. He is concerned about fulfilling not only his public duties but also his private ones.

The person who loves God’s approval does not put all his spiritual energies into doing public duties (corporate worship, teaching, Sunday school, Bible studies, evangelistic outreach, showing hospitality, etc.). He budgets his time so as to discharge his private obligations as well.

Behind closed doors, he worships God, thanking Him for who He is and for all He has done. He confesses his sin to God, and repents of it. He agonizes in intercessory prayer. He gives of his money and material possessions in secret (if not anonymously). When he fasts, he does so in such a way that no one will know that he’s up to. He prepares his heart for worship before he goes to church. He reads and studies his Bible regularly. He meditates on Scripture. He cooperates with the Holy Spirit in the sanctification process. He cares for his soul and for the souls of those for whom he is responsible. And if anyone tries to pressure him into additional public service, he will not accept it if, in his heart, he knows it will keep him from fulfilling his private obligations.

Moreover, he behaves in an upright way when he is in his own home. His attitude is, “I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart” (Ps. 101:2b). He flees temptation, resists the devil, and controls his temper and his appetites when no one is around just as he does when people are looking. (Priolo, 140)

8. He is more concerned with what God sees in his heart than what man sees in his appearance.
9. He programs his conscience by the Bible rather than by the culture.
10. He does not shy away from necessary conflict or confrontation.
11. He does not worry or fret when he displeases people if, by so doing, he pleases God.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007)127-146.