Humility

“Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed

to the proud, but gives grace to the humble” –1 Peter 5:5

1. Forgiveness

The Bible instructs us to forgive, “just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). How does God forgive us? He tells us in Isaiah 43:25 and Jeremiah 31:34: “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins,” and “I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”…

So forgiveness is fundamentally a promise. As God promises to not hold our sins against us, so we also must promise to not hold the sins of those we’ve forgiven against them. This promise can be broken down into three parts. First, you promise to not bring up the offense to the forgiven person so as to use it against him. Second, you promise to not discuss the forgiven offense with others. Finally, you promise to not dwell on the forgiven offense yourself, but remind yourself instead that you have forgiven your offender “just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32).

2. Esteem Others Better Than Yourself

• Don’t assume that others have exactly the same evil motives as you find in your own heart (love “believes all things,” 1 Cor. 13:7), but rather put the best possible interpretation on their actions.
• Look for those virtuous qualities in others that you know you are most in need of yourself. Then seek their help in acquiring those qualities.
• Don’t assume that your time, money, energy, thoughts, and opinions are more valuable than your neighbor’s.
• When making a decision, consider not only how that decision will affect your own interests, but also how it will affect the interests of others.
• Be alert not only to your own needs, but also to the needs of others.
• Demonstrate your high estimation of others by commending them for those qualities that are biblically worthy of praise.
• Guard your heart from developing a pattern of critical, condemnatory, accusatory, judgmental thoughts about others. (Such thoughts make it very difficult, if not impossible, to esteem others better than yourself.)
• Pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ.
• Remind yourself often that God has given to you everything you have to be proud of and that He has often used others to get you where you are. Thank God and thank those whom He has used to bless you.

3. Put on the Mind of Christ

• Can you be proud while you believe that your Savior was clothed with flesh, and lived in modesty, and made himself of no reputation, and was despised and scorned and spat upon by sinners, and shamefully treated and nailed as a common criminal to a cross?
• Did Christ take upon himself the form of a servant so that you could domineer and have the highest place of honor?
• Did Christ not have a place to lay his head so that you could insist upon a home with luxurious furnishings?
• Must you brave it out in your most fantastic outfits instead of your Savior’s seamless coat?
• Did he pray for his murderers so that you could demand vengeance for petty words and wrongs?
• Did he patiently endure being spit upon and pummeled so that you could, with impatient pride, abuse others?

4. Give your reputation to God.
5. Redirect praise back to God and to those individuals to whom God has used to help you accomplish your achievements.
6. Associate with the humble.
7. Take upon yourself the form of a servant.

• Make a list of the closest people in your life (spouse, children, parents, brothers, bosses, employees, teachers, friends, working associates, or anyone else whom you have regular opportunities to serve.
• Learn how to talk in terms of what is of interest to them.
• Learn how to ask them questions with the attitude of a learner and a servant.
• Regularly pray for them and for your attitude toward them.
• Make it your goal to help them achieve their God-honoring goals.
• Look for opportunities to minister to them.
• Ask their forgiveness.

8. Make it your goal to have others formulate their opinion of you based on your Christian character.
9. Do not go fishing for compliments.
10. Avoid developing friendships with those who are prone to flattery.
11. Learn to be content with the condition and proportion that God has given to you.
12. Don’t overvalue friendships.
13. Learn how to glory in your weaknesses and glorify God for you strengths.
14. Learn to bring every people-pleasing thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
15. Look to your responsibilities and leave your reputation to God.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007)165-216.