Tea and Titus ... A Womens Bible Study

New Book Study, New Blog

2011-03-18T14:09:00.004-05:00

The ladies of SFURC have recently begun a new book study on The Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes. For more information about that, please follow this link. Thanks!

A Final Prayer from the Valley

2010-10-30T10:11:00.002-05:00

--from the Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Lord God Almighty,

Holy is thy wisdom, power, mercy, ways, works.
How can I stand before thee
with my numberless and aggravated offences?

I have often loved darkness,
observed lying vanities,
forsaken thy given mercies,
trampled underfoot thy beloved Son,
mocked thy providences,
flattered thee with my lips,
broken thy covenant.

It is of thy compassion that I am not consumed.
Lead me to repentance, and save me from despair;
Let me come to thee renouncing, condemning,
loathing myself,
but hoping in the grace that flows
even to the chief of sinners.

At the cross may I contemplate the evil of sin,
and abhor it,
look on him whom I pierced,
as one slain for me, and by me. . . .

Thus may my soul rest in thee, O immortal
and transcendent one,
revealed as thou art in the Person and work
of thy Son,
the Friend of sinners.

Another Prayer from the Valley

2010-04-15T10:04:00.001-05:00

--from the Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

O God whose will conquers all,

There is no comfort in anything
apart from enjoying thee
and being engaged in thy service;

Thou art All in all, and all enjoyments are what to me
thou makest them, and no more.

I am well pleased with thy will, whatever it is,
or should be in all respects,

And if thou bidst me decide for myself in any affair
I would choose to refer all to thee,
for thou art infinitely wise and cannot do amiss,
as I am in danger of doing.

I rejoice to think that all things are at thy disposal,
and it delights me to leave them there....

I can of myself do nothing to glorify thy blessed name,
but I can through grace cheerfully surrender soul and
body to thee.

Prayer from the Valley

2009-12-09T14:14:00.002-06:00

--from the Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Lord, High and Holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to posses all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

Lest You Be Judged

2009-11-28T16:30:00.003-06:00

The following is part of a lesson taken directly from Beth Moore's study on the Fruit of the Spirit called "Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit." (Nashville, TN: LifeWay Press, 1998) It was a good lesson for us to study together from the chapter called "Lest You Be Judged" (a small part of a larger study on patience). The following quotes are found on pages 123-125.

SIX REASONS WE MUST NOT JUDGE OTHERS (Romans 2:1-5):

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance? But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. -Romans 2:1-5 (NIV)

1. When we judge others, we cause God to be harder on us.
“At whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself” (v. 1). We invite the discipline of our Heavenly Father.

2. We do many of the same things we condemn in others (see v. 1).
For example, we are quick to judge sexual sin; yet few of us have not transgressed in at least some area of sexual sin. If not physically, mentally. We often sit on the judgment seat as if to determine and compare degrees of sin. Judgment bears hypocrisy.

3. We do not know the whole truth.
“God’s judgment…is based on truth” (v. 2). We may think we have “all the facts,” but we are incapable of reading minds or judging hearts.

4. We are mere humans.
“So when you, a mere man” (v. 3). I [Beth Moore] love the way Isaiah 29:16 expounds upon the temptation to switch roles with God: “You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!” We must withstand all temptation to assume God’s job!

5. When we judge others, we are judging God.
Our judgment reveals contempt for the riches of God’s patience. (see v. 4). To judge why God won’t bring a speedy punishment to those who mock or despise Him is not our responsibility. To all of us, His long-suffering has been our salvation. Eternity is a long time; the effects are irreversible… I once heard Dr. Adrian Rogers say, “Time is not nearly as important to God as timing.”

6. God’s judgment is always righteous. Ours is tainted by the flesh.
“When his righteous judgment will be revealed” (v. 5). Our judgment of others is colored by our attitudes, our pasts, our personalities, and our positions. Only God is the perfectly righteous Judge.

MORE REASONS NOT TO JUDGE OTHERS (Matthew 7:1-5):

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye..." -Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV)

7. We risk application of the same type of judgment to ourselves (see vv. 1-2).
When I recall times I have been quick to judge, my reaction has often been tainted by my own personality and past. The same lack of mercy I’ve dispensed could, in turn, be dispensed to me!

8. We cannot judge the speck of sawdust in another’s eye because of the planks in our own (see vv. 3-4).
We can’t judge righteously because our sight is hindered by our own sin. Consider the following illustration. A precious little preschool boy was picked up by Child Protective Services after a church nursery worker discovered multiple marks and bruises on his body. After some investigation, his guardians were found picketing the rights of the unborn at an area abortions clinic. What is wrong with this picture? Why not protect the child entrusted to you first?

LET’S SEE WHAT WE LEARNED FROM JAMES 4:11-12:

Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? -James 4:11-12 (NIV)

9. “There is only one lawgiver and judge” (Jas. 4:12).
There’s simply no room on the bench! God wrote the commands. Only He has the right to judge the infractions and punish the offender.

10. Only God has noble purpose in His judgment.
We judge to make ourselves feel righteous in comparison. Whether or not the thought is conscious, most judgments boil down to this justification: “At least I don’t do that!” God’s judgment is not based on His “ego.” It is a practical action by which He determines the fate of all humanity.

THE FINAL REASON NOT TO JUDGE (John 8:14-18):

Jesus answered, "Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me. In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two men is valid. I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me." -John 8:14-18 (NIV)

11. Just like Christ’s, our judgment would have to be completely consistent with God’s. He must agree with us for our judgment to be valid.
We judge by “human standards” (v. 15) and, therefore, possess little heavenly perspective. To make a valid judgment, the second testimony cannot be our best friend or neighbor…it must be God.

Supplication

2009-11-11T14:54:00.002-06:00

knowing Christ Jesus our Lord (Luke 10:38-42; Philippians 3:8-11),
the Bible also describes our need to understand the truths contained in the Bible (2 Timothy 3:15-17),
to respond to the leading of the indwelling Holy Spirit (John 15:26-27; 16:7-11; Romans 8:9-17, 26-27),
and to spend time in prayer (Jeremiah 29:11-13; Luke 18:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Scripture speaks of our need for

wisdom (James 1:5),
contentment (Philippians 4:11-13),
and freedom from fear (Psalm 37).
It tells us we need to lift our minds from the things of earth to the things above (Colossians 3:1-3),
seek God’s kingdom first (Matthew 6:33),
and testify boldly of the gospel of grace (Ephesians 6:18-19).
It highlights our need to accurately assess our abilities (Romans 12:3)
and to faithfully exercise our gifts in the body of Christ (vv. 4-7).

It reveals our need to be

loved by God and pass His love on to others (1 John 4:7-19),
to live in relationships (Colossians 3:18-4:1; Hebrews 10:24-25),
and to work for a living (2 Thessalonians 3:7-12).
It exposes our need for forgiveness (Luke 18:13),
as well as our need to forgive others (Ephesians 4:32),
and reminds us of our need to take every thought captive to he obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)
so that no unwholesome word will proceed from our mouths (Ephesians 4:29).

Scripture also affirms our need for

food, shelter, and clothing (Matthew 6:11; 1 Timothy 5:8; 6:10),
and protection from danger (2 Thessalonians 3:1-2),
without down-playing our concomitant need to trust in God’s sovereign mercy when we must suffer deprivation or persecution for the sake of the gospel (Matthew 5:10-12; 1 Peter 2:20-24).

…The apostle prayed for real needs and knew that his God would always supply them (Philippians 4:19). He knew the indescribable peace of being anxious for nothing because his grip on God’s truth gave him a big-picture perspective that transcended temporal circumstances. He would have agreed wholeheartedly with A. W. Pink, who wrote nineteen hundred years later, “There can be no peace for the mind, no joy of heart, if we fail to recognize that our lot—our circumstances, our condition—is fully ordered by a sovereign and gracious God.” -Ruvolo, pp 92-94

Confession

2009-11-02T21:26:00.006-06:00

We agree, first, that we actually committed the sin, without making excuses or shifting blame to another (Psalm 51:3).
We also agree that our sinful behavior offends God and violates all He intends us to be as His children (Psalm 51:4-5).
We acknowledge our tendency to deny our sin, as well as God’s faithfulness in driving us to repentance (Psalm 32:3-4).
We admit that our sin has disrupted our fellowship with Him and that He alone can cleanse and restore us (Psalm 51:7-13).
And finally we anticipate, in agreement with His revealed truth, the delightful blessings resulting from sincere confession (Psalm 32:1-2, 8-11; 51:14-19).

True confession of sin follows heart-felt repentance of specifically identified sins. And because the problem is in us, that can’t be done without the Spirit’s help. David recognized this truth when he closed his great psalm extolling God’s sovereign authority and love with the words,

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
(Psalm139:23-24)

First John 1:9 is chock-full of comfort for even the stiffest of God’s guilty kids. I [Ruvolo] often wonder when I read it if John was thinking of the way Jesus, on the night of His death, comforted a stiff kid named Peter. The disciples had gathered for their last meal together and soon found themselves under conviction for the sin of pride. None wanted to humble himself to wash the feet of the others. But all must have been horrified when Jesus quietly accepted the task they had spurned.

I’m sure you could have heard a ripe fig drop in the courtyard as the Master made His way around the room with basin and towel. The silence was broken, as it customarily was, by the burly fisherman whose stiff unresponsiveness to his Savior’s tender conviction reverberated in his cry, “Never shall You wash my feet!” (John 13:8).

Jesus’ great love for Peter came through in His persistent pursuit of conviction: “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.” These words finally softened Peter. “Lord,” he replied humbly, “not my feet only, but also my hands and my head” (v. 8-9).

Jesus went on to bless Peter with the comfort of His cleansing forgiveness. By assuring His repentant disciple that he did not need a bath, but only a footwashing (v. 10), He reassured him of his secure position among God’s children. Although his stiff- ness had temporarily disrupted the harmony of this eternal relationship, humble confession of sin was all it took to restore it.

(The previous lesson from the life of Peter is a word-for-word copy of Ruvolo's writings--pages 83-84).

Adoration

2009-10-27T22:32:00.004-05:00

The following is a summary of writings taken from Carol J. Ruvolo's book entitled Before the Throne of God: Focus on Prayer (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R, 1999). This summary is taken from pages 54-55 of that book, which is a chapter written to guide our thoughts when we go to "ADORE" God in our prayers..

As we pursue the stillness of open-Book prayer, we become better acquainted with our heavenly Father. What we learn in the Bible about Him drives us to worship. God reveals Himself to us as

the Creator (Genesis 1-2),
who fills heaven and earth (Jeremiah 23:24);
as the Lord God of hosts (Romans 9:29),
who is present and near (Psalm 139:7);
and as the God who provides (Genesis 22:14),
heals (Deuteronomy 32:39),
and sanctifies (Exodus 31:13).
Moreover, He offers Himself as our banner (Exodus 17:15),
our peace (Heb. 13:20),
and our shepherd (Psalm 23).

The Psalms describe God as
“great … above all gods” (135:5)
in whom no evil dwells (5:4).
They say He is “resplendent” (76:4),
righteous (71:13).
They tell us He is “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness” (103:8),
“clothed in splendor and majesty, covering [Him]self with light as with a cloak” (104:1-2).
On a more personal note, they own Him as “my strength and song … [who] has become my salvation” (118:14).
“my stronghold” (62:2),
“a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head” (3:3),
“my hope [and] … confidence” (71:5),
and “our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (46:1).

God reveals even more of Himself as He allows us to listen while He demands of a petulant Job,
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth!” (Job 38:4);
or declares to an awe-filled Moses, “No man can see Me and live!” (Exodus 33:20);
or reminds King Asa, “The eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His” (2 Chronicles 16:9).

The prophet Isaiah exclaims:
To whom then will you liken God?
Or what likeness will you compare with Him? ...
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the
ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power. (40:18, 28-29)

And Jeremiah proclaims:
There is none like Thee, O LORD;
Thou art great, and great is Thy name in might...
But the LORD is the true God;
He is the living God and the everlasting King.
At His wrath the earth quakes,
And the nations cannot endure His indignation.(10: 6, 10)

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.
The history of mankind will probably show that no people has ever risen above its religion, and man’s spiritual history will positively demonstrate that no religion has ever been greater than its idea of God. Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God…
That our idea of God correspond as nearly as possible to the true being of God is of immense importance to us….I believe there is scarcely an error in doctrine or a failure in applying Christian ethics that cannot be traced finally to imperfect and ignoble thoughts about God."

--A. W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1961), vii.

Great Expectations

2009-10-23T15:01:00.006-05:00

“And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

So just what does that mean? I know we often ask God for things, and we're often told that if we have faith He will grant our requests. But the reality is that not everything we request comes to life. So, how should we pray "according to His will" that we might actually have our requests? In the book entitled "Before the Throne of God," author Carol J. Ruvolo dedicates a chapter to answering these questions (page 110-116). The following post summarizes that chapter.

It is in God’s revealed will, made plain in the commands of Scripture, that we learn how to live and what we should desire. Examples of God’s revealed requirements can be found in Exodus 20:1-17, Matthew 22: 37-40, Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 4:17-5:7, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6, 1 Peter 2:13-15, and the entire book of James. While our prayers should express faith in God’s hidden, sovereign plan for all things, God directs us to pray particularly for what we know to be His revealed will. That will is not hidden from us. It stands in full view throughout the pages of Scripture. (emphasis mine)

The only way to pray with great expectations is to pray within the guidelines of God’s revealed will:
The Guideline of Salvation—only those who have been redeemed and transformed by the power of God have the ability to discover God’s will for their lives.
The Guideline of Dependence—reminds us of our need to rely continually on the indwelling Spirit (Ephesians 5:17).
The Guideline of Holiness—found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, “This is the will of God, our sanctification.”
The Guideline of Testimony—“For such is the will of God, that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men” (1 Peter 2:15).
The Guideline of Sacrifice—“entrust [our] souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right” when we “suffer according to the will of God” (1 Peter 4:19).
The Guideline of Sovereignty—God alone knows the end from the beginning and He will accomplish all His good pleasure (Isaiah 46:10).

When we pray within these guidelines we will be able to “claim the promise.” … Disappointment, discouragement, and frustration will have no room to fester when our prayers swell with the confidence of great expectations. If we align our prayers with God’s will, we will see results:

God will be glorified.
The elect will be brought to salvation.
We will see a developing pattern of righteousness in our own lives and of others for whom we pray.
The body of Christ will be built up and will bear fruit.
Our hearts will be full of peace, joy and contentment.
We will know God’s comfort in the midst of affliction.
We will become increasingly able to “set [our] mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2).

Ruvolo, Carol J. Before the Throne of God (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R, 1999) 110-116.

The Umbrella of Thankfulness

2009-10-20T21:58:00.003-05:00

Most of us know of the helpful acrostic "ACTS" when it comes to formulating prayers. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. Author Carol J. Ruvolo encourages her readers in her book entitled "Before the Throne of God" to rethink the acrostic to look more like the "TACS" picture I have included above. In reality, how can we adore our God without also thanking Him? How can we confess our sins without a deep appreciation for His forgiveness? Even more, how can we possibly make requests without gratitude for His promises to provide all we need for body and soul? The following is a quote from Ruvolo's book, page 103.

Knowing that Satan takes aim at our prayers, we can defend against his attack by covering those prayers with thanksgiving. The umbrella of gratitude concentrates our attention on the goodness of God. It fills our minds with His glory (adoration), humbles our souls with His grace (confession), and inspires our hope with His promises (supplication). The umbrella of gratitude turns our eyes away from the world and uproots discontentment. Gratitude itself (thanksgiving) fosters deeper gratitude, building an impermeable shield around the hearts of the saints.

Hiedelberg Catechism: Lord's Day 45

2009-10-20T21:50:00.002-05:00

Q & A 116
Q. Why do Christians need to pray?
A. Because prayer is the most important part
of the thankfulness God requires of us.^1
And also because God gives his grace and Holy Spirit
only to those who pray continually and groan inwardly,
asking God for these gifts
and thanking him for them.^2
^1 Ps. 50:14-15; 116:12-19; 1 Thess. 5:16-18
^2 Matt. 7:7-8; Luke 11:9-13

Q & A 117
Q. How does God want us to pray
so that he will listen to us?
A. First, we must pray from the heart
to no other than the one true God,
who has revealed himself in his Word,
asking for everything he has commanded us to ask for.^1

Second, we must acknowledge our need and misery,
hiding nothing,
and humble ourselves in his majestic presence.^2

Third, we must rest on this unshakable foundation:
even though we do not deserve it,
God will surely listen to our prayer
because of Christ our Lord.
That is what he promised us in his Word.^3
^1 Ps. 145:18-20; John 4:22-24; Rom. 8:26-27; James 1:5; 1 John 5:14-15
^2 2 Chron. 7:14; Ps. 2:11; 34:18; 62:8; Isa. 66:2; Rev. 4
^3 Dan. 9:17-19; Matt. 7:8; John 14:13-14; 16:23; Rom. 10:13; James 1:6

Q & A 118
Q. What did God command us to pray for?
A. Everything we need, spiritually and physically,^1
as embraced in the prayer
Christ our Lord himself taught us.
^1 James 1:17; Matt. 6:33

Starting a WOTTS Group

2009-10-15T11:26:00.004-05:00

The following is an excerpt taken directly from Elisabeth Elliot's book entitled "Keep a Quiet Heart" (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 1995) pages 183-184. This book is a compilation of several lead articles from a newsletter that Mrs. Elliot had written over the course of a dozen years prior to the publishing of the book.

Men and women who are committed to obedience to Titus 2:1-5 are desperately needed in the world, in the church, and in the home. Writing on what I called spiritual motherhood I referred to them as WOTTs (Women of Titus Two). A reader asks if I have guidelines, structure, organization, information about such a group. Well, not much--for this reason: as soon as you organize, you have to have meetings! What we don't need is one more meeting to take us away from our homes and telephones. My suggestions are simply these:

Pray. Ask God to show you the needs and ways in which you yourself can help. Pray (perhaps on the phone if it's difficult to get together) with one or two others who understand the need.
Ask your pastor if he might preach on the Titus passage. It will take courage for him to do this.
In Bible studies, Sunday School classes, over your kitchen table or wherever you have opportunity, raise the subject of spiritual motherhood. Tell others of the blessing your own spiritual mothers have been to you. (If you had none, find a model in a book, as I did in missionary author Amy Carmichael. Then seek to be one.)
Post a list on the church bulletin board of the WOTTs, women who earnestly desire to be available. Mothers (in the usual sense and in the spiritual) are people who must be available--not all the time, not to meet every demand, but as needs arise which they can meet. They are prepared to do so, no matter how humble and unsung the job. The deepest needs are for godly examples, ears to hear, shoulders to cry on, hearts to pray. Then there are the humble tasks which lighten others' burdens: drive someone to the doctor, do somebody's ironing, take a friend and go clean somebody's refrigerator and oven (jobs young mothers find it hard to get around to); babysit--in your house or theirs. Rock a baby, read a story, cook the supper, do the mending. Take a old person shopping and to lunch. Clean the house, do the gardening, write letters at his or her dictation or acquire some government postcards--so cheap, so easy to write a note on if you address them first.

God will give you many other ideas if you ask Him.

Are You Entitled? Are You Seeking?

2009-10-10T22:12:00.003-05:00

This post follows my two previous posts regarding heaven. It is a quick summary of what Jonathan Edwards says in order to tell us about the characteristics of those who are entitled to heaven and direction on how to seek it.

Who is entitled to Heaven?

Those who have had the principle or seed of the same love that reigns in heaven implanted in their hearts, in this world, in the work of regeneration.
Those who can freely choose the happiness that flows from the exercise and enjoyment of such love as is in heaven, above all other conceivable happiness.
Those who, from the love that is in them, are, in heart and life, in principle and practice, struggling after holiness.

How to seek Heaven:

Let not your heart go after the things of this world, as your chief good.
In your meditations, and holy exercises, be much engaged in conversing with heavenly persons, and objects, and enjoyments.
Be content to pass through all difficulties in the way to heaven… That glorious city of light and love is, as it were, on the top of a high hill or mountain, and there is no way to it but by upward and arduous steps.
In all your way let your eye be fixed on Jesus, who has gone to heaven as your forerunner.
If you would be in the way to the world of love, see that you live a life of love—of love to God, and love to men.

Separating the Wheat from the Tares

2009-10-07T16:05:00.004-05:00

I know this video doesn't directly relate to any of the Tea and Titus lessons we have had or will be having, but I just couldn't resist posting... I recently saw this video on another blog that I enjoy reading, and found it to be a most convicting message... separating the wheat from the tares in every respect. I know it is a long message, but you don't have to "watch" the whole thing. Listen to it as you are cooking supper or washing dishes. Go to bed early one night and set up your laptop on your dresser, watching and listening as you wind down from the day. Honestly, if we have enough time to watch videos from the redbox machine, we should have enough time for this [That is the argument I had to use for myself to decide whether or not I could spare an hour to listen to Paul Washer--I had just spent the evening before wasting (or rather sacrificing) an hour of precious time to the "movie" idol I struggle with serving.] And may you be forever changed after hearing the Word of God opened in a most radical and unashamed way.

Contention Darkens the Evidence of our Title to Heaven

2009-10-05T22:52:00.003-05:00

The following excerpt is a direct quote from the writings of Jonathan Edwards on the topic of "Heaven, a World of Love". These words immediately follow his descriptions of the perfect and pure love in heaven as I have summarized in my previous post. They are convicting, and like many of the Puritan's messages, they cut to the bone and leave us squirming in our seats. After all that squirming, I hope we can be moved to flee our sinfulness and seek love and peace while we are yet on earth. For every one of us has prayed: "Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

If heaven be such a world as has been described, then we may see a reason why contention and strife tend to darken our evidence of fitness for its possession.

Experience teaches that this is the effect of contention. When principles of malignity and ill-will prevail among God's people, as they sometimes do through the remaining corruption of their hearts, and they get into a contentious spirit, or are engaged in any strife whether public or private, and their spirits are filled with opposition to their neighbors in any matter whatever, their former evidences for heaven seem to become dim, or die away, and they are in darkness about their spiritual state, and do not find that comfortable and satisfying hope that they used to enjoy.

And so, when converted persons get into ill frames in their families, the consequence commonly, if not universally, is, that they live without much of a comfortable sense of heavenly things, or any lively hope of heaven. They do not enjoy much of that spiritual calm and sweetness that those do who live in love and peace. They have not that help from God, and that communion with him, and that near intercourse with heaven in prayer, that others have. The apostle seems to speak of contention in families as having this influence. His language is (1 Pet. 3:7), "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them" (your wives) "according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel; and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." Here he intimates that discord in families tends to hinder Christians in their prayers. And what Christian that has made the sad experiment, has not done it to his sorrow, and in his own experience does not bear witness to the truth of the apostle's intimation?

Why it is so, that contention has this effect of hindering spiritual exercises and comforts and hopes, and of destroying the sweet hope of that which is heavenly, we may learn from the doctrine we have considered. For heaven being a world of love, it follows that, when we have the least exercise of love, and the most of a contrary spirit, then we have the least of heaven, and are farthest from it in the frame of our mind. Then we have the least of the exercise of that wherein consists a conformity to heaven, and a preparation for it, and what tends to it; and so, necessarily, we must have least evidence of our title to heaven, and be farthest from the comfort which such evidence affords.

Heaven, A World of Love

2009-10-03T14:41:00.007-05:00

The following outline is summary statements taken from the writings of Jonathan Edwards. This particular writing is called "Heaven, a World of Love" and was a part of his sermon series on 1 Corinthians 13, otherwise known as the "Love" chapter in the Bible. These writings can also be found as the last chapter in a book called "Charity and its Fruits" by Jonathan Edwards. I found it to be an encouraging, hopeful and convicting read. I would highly recommend it to anyone thinking about heaven, or aspiring to be more heavenly minded. In my research, I also was able to find a website that actually has the whole chapter online. Click here to read it for yourself.

God and His Love fills Heaven. The very light that shines in and fills that world, is the light of love, for it is the shining of the glory of the Lamb of God, that most wonderful influence of lamb-like meekness and love that fills the heavenly Jerusalem with light.
Everything in Heaven is Lovely… There shall in no wise enter into it anything that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination –Rev. 21:27.
Everything in Heaven is Perfect… Often there is in good men on earth some defect of temper, or character, or conduct, that mars the excellence of what otherwise would seem most amiable; and even the very best of men, are, on earth, imperfect. But it is not so in heaven. No moral or natural defect shall ever enter there; and there nothing will be seen that is sinful or weak or foolish; nothing, the nature or aspect of which is coarse or displeasing, or that can offend the most refined taste or the most delicate eye.
There dwells the longed-for delights of the Saints on earth…The things which were so dear to them that they were ready for the sake of them to undergo the severest sufferings, and to forsake even father, and mother, and kindred, and friends, and wife, and children, and life itself… Every gem which death rudely tears away from us here is a glorious jewel for ever shining there; every Christian friend that goes before us from this world, is a ransomed spirit waiting to welcome us in heaven.
Everyone that lives there is full of love… The heart of God is the original seat or subject of love… and from God, love flows out toward all the inhabitants of heaven. In the first place, toward his only-begotten Son… an infinite and eternal mutual, holy, energy between the Father the Son… And the saints and angels are secondarily the subjects of holy love, not as those in whom it is as in an original seat, as light is in the sun, but as it is in the planets, that shine only by reflected light… and the light of their love is reflected in the first place, and chiefly, back to its great source; and in the second place to each other.
This love is pure and perfect. [the rest of the points flow from this point-I had trouble formatting]
The Saints that are highest in glory will be the lowest in humbleness of mind, for their superior humility is part of their superior holiness.
No inhabitants of that blessed world will ever be grieved with the thought that they are slighted by those that they love, or that their love is not fully and fondly returned.
They shall have no fear that the declarations and professions of love are hypocritical; but shall be perfectly satisfied of the sincerity and strength of each other’s affections, as much as if there were a window in every breast, so that everything in the heart could be seen.
The saints in heaven shall have no difficulty from the dullness and heaviness that our lives trapped in these earthly bodies now have in expressing all of their love.
There shall be no indecent or unwise or harsh speeches or actions—no foolish and sentimental fondness—no needless overbearing—no low or sinful propensities of passion—and no such thing as affections clouding or deluding reason, or going before or against it.
There shall be no disunion between the saints through difference of temper, or manners, or circumstances, or from various opinions, or interests, or feelings, or alliances; but all shall be united in the same interests, and all alike allied to the same Savior, and all employed in the same business, serving and glorifying the same God.
The inhabitants will all be related to each other as brethren.
All shall have property and ownership in each other.
On earth, those that love each other become, by their very love, sharers in each other’s afflictions, so that each has not only his own trials to bear, but those also of his afflicted friends. But there shall be no adversity in heaven… rather they shall enjoy one another’s love in the greatest prosperity, and in glorious riches and comfort, and in the highest honor and dignity, reigning together in the heavenly kingdom—inheriting all things, sitting on thrones, all wearing crowns of life, and being made kings and priests unto God for ever.
There shall be none there to tempt any to dislike or hatred; no busybodies, or malicious adversaries, to make misrepresentations, or create misunderstanding, or spread abroad any evil reports, but every being and every thing shall conspire to promote love, and the full enjoyment of love.
We shall never be weary of the exercises or expressions of love, never be bogged down by its enjoyments. The beloved objects will never grow old or disagreeable, so that their love shall at last die away. All in heaven shall flourish in immortal youth and freshness. Age will not there diminish any one’s beauty or vigor; and there love shall abide in every one's heart… as a flame that never dies away.
None shall ever come short, or turn aside from the way of holiness in the least degree, but every feeling and action shall be perfect in itself and in all its circumstances.
This holy and humble Christian love will banish all disturbance, and sweetly compose and bring rest to our spirits, and make all divinely calm and sweet and happy.

Patience

2009-09-26T22:31:00.003-05:00

Patience is endurance, perseverance, long-suffering. It is waiting on something, or through something, and all the while not complaining. In the Greek New Testament there are two main words used to describe patience. Hupomone is endurance--dealing with things or circumstances. This is the kind of patience that we usually think of--persevering through difficult circumstances. The other form of patience, which draws on hupomone but is even more difficult to attain is makrothumia. Makrothumia is long-suffering in regards to PEOPLE. It is the “quality of a person who is able to avenge himself yet refrains from doing so.”

Pretty much everything in life will try our patience--from the little things that seem big at the time, like waiting in line or getting caught in traffic, to our families (kids that are acting up, husbands that are annoying), friends (who say they will do something, or who are just getting on our nerves), our coworkers and bosses, how our days are going, chores, politics, everything! Why is it so difficult to be patient? Probably because a lot of the things that try our patience tend to be things that happen over and over again.

Not only is it difficult in our own flesh to be patient, but our very culture seems to put little value on the individual developing that characteristic. We are definitely a now, now, now culture! We’ve got fast food, drive through pharmacies, everything available to us within seconds on the internet—we are conditioned to expect everything available to us in a matter of seconds. We also live in a very individualistic society, a “me-oriented” culture where we are supposed to look out for "number one" and to not be dependent on anyone else or have to wait on someone else to do something. If we are stuck waiting, we are told we should take over. There’s not a lot of push for us to stick it out in our society. If you don’t like your job--quit it! If you don’t like your house--move out! If you’re unhappy with church--just leave it!

However, God puts a high value on patience. As a matter of fact, He is our ultimate example of patience: "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." (2 Peter 3:9, ESV) He is patient with us because His patience is necessary for our salvation!

And we can use His patience as an example unto ourselves. By reading the Scriptures to remind ourselves of His patience and our hope, we can strive for unity; knowing that God is the one who gives us patience and he is patient with us as we should be with our fellow man: "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Romans 15:4-6, ESV)

The scriptures not only give us account after account of God's long-suffering, but it also shows us examples of humans who had the gift of patience. Take for instance Noah, who preached to His neighbors for 120 years and saw not a single convert. Or Simeon who waited in the temple His whole life knowing that the Lord promised he would see the Christ during his lifetime. Therefore have hope, dear believer, that as the world is against us and our very flesh clings to impatience, we can strive for the fruit of long-suffering as we know that God can give us the grace to persevere through His Holy Spirit.

Benefits of Redemption

2009-09-14T15:47:00.004-05:00

Precisely what do the means of grace accomplish? How do they communicate grace to us? The Shorter Catechism, for instance, says that the Word read and especially preached, the sacraments and prayer are the "means by which Christ communicates to us the benefits of redemption" (Q&A 88). What are these benefits? Earlier in the Shorter Catechism, the divines identify these benefits as "justification, adoption, and sanctification" (Q&A 32). As strange as this may sound, there is a sense in which we can say that we are justified, adopted, and sanctified through worship. And this is not all. There are additional benefits that "accompany or flow from justification, adoption, and sanctification." These are "assurance of God's love, peace of conscience, joy in the Holy Ghost, increase of grace, and perseverance therein to the end" (Q&A 36).

What more could we need in the pilgrimage and difficulties of the Christian life? What could be more blessed than to receive these benefits on the Lord's Day when throughout the week we experience suffering and persecution, and fight the residue of sin and temptations of the flesh? What could be more comforting than to receive God's blessing? And how else are we to obtain his mercy and reassurance than through the diligent use of the means of grace?

The instrumentality of worship in communicating these benefits is explained in the Shorter Catechism. It is "the Spirit of God" who makes "the reading, but especially the preaching, of the Word, an effectual means of convincing and converting sinners, and of building them up in holiness and comfort, through faith, unto salvation" (Q&A 89). This is a bold claim. But it is exactly what Paul teaches when he writes that faith comes through hearing the preached Word of God (Rom. 10:13-15). This also seems like an archaic claim. In a media-saturated and increasingly visually-oriented culture, communication experts are telling church leaders that the sermon is an ineffective and outmoded means of communication. After all, people cannot devote sustained attention to anything, much less a "talking head," for more than five to ten minutes. Yet here the church must be countercultural and trust in the promises of God, even if it appears foolish according to the wisdom of our age. As Paul also writes, "...God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe" (1 Cor. 1:21). Ultimately, the work of salvation belongs to the agency of the Holy Spirit who applies Christ's work of redemption. So too the effectiveness of preaching depends not on the pastor but on God. Relying on "foolish" means is nothing more than trusting in the power of God.

What is said here of preaching applies to the other means of grace. They also convince and convert, and sustain us in the faith. Baptism, the Shorter Catechism says, is a "partaking of the benefits of the covenant of grace" (Q&A 94). Moreover, in the Lord's Supper believers "are ... made partakers of his body and blood, with all his benefits, to their spiritual nourishment, and growth in grace (Q&A 96). Notice again the language of benefits. Believers receive these benefits through the means God has appointed.

In this teaching the Westminster divines are simply following Calvin. He wrote that "the sacraments bring the clearest promises; and ... they represent [the Word] for us as painted in a picture from life." The sacraments, Calvin argues, are sermon illustrations from God. They are the images he uses to show us the gospel. Moreover they confirm us in the good news of God's saving promises. According to Calvin baptism and the Lord's Supper, along with the Word read and preached, "have been instituted by the Lord to the end that they may serve to establish and increase faith."

Finally, prayer as a means of grace also comes with the promise of God's blessing. When we offer up our requests to God for things agreeable to his will, then our prayers will be a blessing to us and cause us to grow in grace. This can happen of course, in private prayer. But corporate prayer knits the hearts of church members together. The Lord's Prayer is a "we" prayer, a model for praying together, with and for others.

But the Word, sacraments, and prayer do not become means of grace on their own. We are not advocating the Roman Catholic idea that the sacraments or other ordinances confer grace whenever a man rightly ordained performs them, that is sacerdotalism. Instead, what we are talking about is the communication of grace through means that ultimately depend for their efficacy on the ministry of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit accompanies the preaching of the Word. The Spirit enables the spiritual presence of Christ in the sacraments. And the Spirit prays with us, translating our groaning into words pleasing to God and edifying to us. The Reformers stressed the work of the Spirit in order to avoid the errors of Rome. Grace is not dispensed by any virtue in the means themselves or in those who administer them, as if by some automatic or magical way. Rather, grace only comes as God works through these means. The reassuring teaching, though, is that our loving and merciful God has ordained these means for the good of the ones whom he has graciously saved. Ultimately, the means of grace are only effective through "the blessing of Christ, and the working of his Spirit in them that by faith receive them" (WSC Q&A 91).

D.G. Hart and John R. Muether, With Reverence and Awe: Returning to the Basics of Reformed Worship (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing, 2002), pp. 140-143.

The Marks of the Church

2009-09-12T21:52:00.005-05:00

A ... way of illustrating how worship constitutes the church is to consider the marks of the church. The doctrine of the marks of the church is indeed precious to Protestants because it asserts fundamental differences between Roman Catholicism and the Protestant Reformation. By the marks of the church, according to the Belgic Confession, we can discern the true from the false church. The Belgic Confession goes on to define the marks of the church in the following manner:

The marks by which the true Church is known are these: if the pure doctrine of the gospel is preached therein; if she maintains the pure administration of the sacraments as instituted by Christ; if church discipline is exercised in chastening of sin; in short, if all things are managed according to the pure Word of God, all things contrary thereto rejected, and Jesus Christ acknowledged as the only Head of the Church. Hereby the true Church may certainly be known, from which no man has a right to separate himself (art. 29).

The marks of the church indicate where the true church may be found. Wherever we see and hear preaching, the sacraments, and church discipline truly performed, we know we are in the presence of the true church.

It is important to notice that the marks of the church are bound up with corporate worship. One might even summarize the doctrine of the marks of the church by saying that the true church can only be found when she is at worship. Of course, the preaching of the Word and the administration of baptism and the Lord's Supper are obviously central parts of worship. Worship is where ministers preach the Word and administer the sacraments. Discipline is harder to discern in corporate worship since the believers who gather on the Lord's Day for worship do so not as a court of the church (consistory, session, classis, or presbytery) but rather as a congregation. Still, preaching itself is a form of discipline, in its manifestation of the ministerial and declarative power of the church. For Protestants, the keys of the kingdom to which Christ refers (Matt. 16:18-19; 18:18), are not the basis for Roman Catholic teaching on papal superiority but rather divine sanction for the holy work of preaching and discipline. As the Heidelberg asserts, "The kingdom of heaven is opened by proclaiming and publicly declaring to each and every believer that, as often as he accepts the gospel promise in true faith, God, because of what Christ has done, truly forgives his sins" (Q&A 84). Preaching, then, is a way that opens and closes heaven. Furthermore, when churches fence the Lord's Table they perform an act of discipline. Even the man who preaches and administers the sacraments may do so only after he has passed the scrutiny of the church's courts. So the mark of discipline is part of worship even though not obviously on display.

Together, the marks of the church constitute the true church. Which is why the Westminster Confession of Faith states that "unto this catholic visible church, Christ has given the ministry, oracles, and ordinances of God." In the same way that the marks of the church tell us how to find the true church, so also corporate worship helps us identify the church. Worship is essential to the church's identity. If our Reformed confessional standards are correct, the church cannot be seen or known apart from worship that is Reformed according to the Word of God because worship is comprised of the ordinances that God has given to his church.

D.G. Hart and John R. Muether, With Reverence and Awe: Returning to the Basics of Reformed Worship (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing, 2002), pp. 53-55.

The Promises are Attached to the "Food" We Partake on Sundays

2009-09-10T15:22:00.006-05:00

Understanding the Christian life as a pilgrimage and worship as manna in the wilderness reminds us who live in an industrial culture that our walk in faith and obedience is not mechanical. Believers are not robots whose batteries are recharged by ambitious church programs, devotional retreats, or spiritual awakenings. Rather, God has made us into new creatures who need regular sustenance. The means of grace, that is, “the ministry, oracles, and ordinances of God,” are the food he has provided to feed the church.

This organic metaphor should instill more humility in our understanding of the Christian life as well as greater gratitude for the privileges we enjoy as God’s sons and daughters when we gather for worship. We are in warfare and constantly tempted to sin…

In many Christian circles today believers are tempted not to avail themselves of the “ministry, oracles, and ordinances of God.” They sometimes think that lots of church activities and parachurch organizations will provide the substances God’s people really need. But God has only promised to bless the ministry of the Word that constitutes Christian worship. Undoubtedly, many nonchurch activities may be beneficial. But God’s promises are not attached to them in the same way that they are to elements of worship. In sum, the manna of worship both gathers and perfects God’s people who are in the wilderness of this world. The oracles of God are essential to the health of God’s pilgrim people.

D.G. Hart and John R. Muether, With Reverence and Awe: Returning to the Basics of Reformed Worship (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing, 2002), p. 57-58

The Christian Pilgrimage

2009-09-03T22:41:00.007-05:00

The following is an excerpt taken directly from the book entitled "With Reverence and Awe: Returning to the Basics of Reformed Worship" by D.G. Hart and John R. Muether. It comes from the chapter about a "Worshiping Community" and is found on pages 55-57. (Note, this is also the book that our men's study has been using for their Saturday mornings).

The church in this world is a pilgrim people, in complete dependence on God for protection and sustenance as they cross through this wilderness on their way to the promised land. Believers need the manna of eternal life that only the “ministry, oracles, and ordinances of God” provide [in other words: the Word preached, the miraculous power of Prayer, and the Sacraments faithfully administered]. Here we need to remember how similar our circumstances are to those of the Israelites at the time when Moses sang praise to God for deliverance from the house of Egypt.

In 1 Corinthians the apostle Paul writes, “Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as [the Israelites in the wilderness] also craved” (10:6). In other words, the example of Israel’s pilgrimage in the wilderness was written for the church. And in worship Christians must see themselves as the wilderness people of God. Just like the Israelites, we have been saved, and we enjoy now the benefits of salvation. But we have not reached our final destiny, the promised land, which is to be with Jesus Christ in glory, to live and worship in the heavenly Jerusalem. In a spiritual sense, then, we are just like the Israelites. We live in the “in-between times,” what theologians describe as the “already/not yet,” the age between Christ’s ascension into glory and his second coming. Hebrews makes the connection between the Old Testament and New Testament church explicit. The Old Testament saints were “strangers and exiles on the earth” who “desire[d] a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Heb. 11:13,16). Christians, too, wait for the city which is to come. “For here we do not have a lasting city, but we are seeking the city which is to come” (Heb. 13:14). Similarly, when Peter calls the church God’s chosen people, he also recognizes that New Testament believers live in a spiritual wilderness, by referring to them as “aliens and strangers” (1 Peter 2:9-11).

In this pilgrimage of being conformed to the image of Christ, believers find themselves in a condition like that of the Israelites. We are weak and frail, tempted and threatened by the hardships of the journey, and constantly tempted to give up. Here the account of the Exodus is again very instructive. What follows the narrative of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea (chap. 14) and Moses’ song (chap. 15) are instructions for the provision of manna, including the practice of Sabbath-keeping, reinstituted after centuries of neglect under slavery (chap. 16). Israel had to master these rules and follow God’s commandments precisely… Being an Israelite then would have been difficult; God’s instructions were new and unusual to that generation. Those who failed to prepare for the Sabbath would go hungry. They would also eventually grumble at Moses because the diet was monotonous. But this was the pattern that God designed to sustain his people throughout the wilderness. As the Bible records, “The sons of Israel ate the manna forty years” (Exod. 16:35). Here, too, are lessons for Christian piety and the practice of worship because the gathering of the saints in worship is the means that God has established to gather and perfect the church until united with her Lord in the new heavens and new earth. Like the Israelites, we need to master the rules for worshiping him. Like the Israelites, we avoid worship or ignore God’s instructions for worship at the peril of growth in grace.

D.G. Hart and John R. Muether, With Reverence and Awe: Returning to the Basics of Reformed Worship (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing, 2002), pp. 55-57.

Scripture for the Worried Soul

2009-08-30T14:41:00.002-05:00

Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 119:165
Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble.

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

John 10:10
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Psalm 121:7-8
7 The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. 8 The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.

Psalm 86:11
Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Psalm 103:17-18
17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, 18 To such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them.

Revelation 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

Isaiah 50:10
Who among you fears the LORD?
Who obeys the voice of His Servant?
Who walks in darkness
And has no light?
Let him trust in the name of the LORD
And rely upon his God.

Psalm 34:19
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.

John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

Action: Conquering Anxiety

2009-08-30T14:35:00.003-05:00

Admit and confess our anxiety to ourselves and to God.
Ask God for relief.
Admonish ourselves. (Spend some time on the verses in Psalm 42 and 43. Think about the psalmist’s prayer and his self-prescription. Notice the change in pronouns in Psalm 42:5 and 42:11).
Analyze ourselves.
(1) temperament and personality
(2) physical health
Admire God. Anxiety fades as we develop a proper appreciation for God, His attributes and His grace.

Sara Ann DuBose, Teacher's Guide for Conquering Anxiety (Atlanta, GA: Committee for Christian Education & Publications, 1989) p. 5

You WILL Have Tribulation

2009-08-29T12:28:00.002-05:00

John 16:33

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you WILL have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. (emphasis mine)

Change of residence, lack of food, jealousy and resentment in the family, war with enemies, giving up a child, death of a spouse….Abraham and Sarah.
Sibling rivalry, conflicts with spouse, economic problems, senility….Isaac and Rebekah.
Selfishness, stubbornness, conflicts with employer, deceitfulness, jealousy, greed…Jacob, Rachel, Leah and Laban.
Pride, jealousy, deceit, temptation, imprisonment…Joseph.
Self-sufficiency, fear, sorrow, deprivation, disappointment….Moses.
Fighting, war, exile, loneliness, adultery, murder, loss of child….David.
Loss of husband, change of residence, economic pressures….Ruth.
Anger, bitterness, loneliness, childlessness, agitation…Hannah.
Loss of wealth, health, family, recognition, everything….Job.
Ridiculed, misunderstood, imprisoned, beheaded….John the Baptist.
Mocked, hated, homeless, hunted, betrayed, denied, tortured, crucified….Jesus. (p. 21-22)

Recognizing that our circumstances will be unpleasant, we can cling to the words of Christ who declared "I have overcome the world!" Which he did. He overcame sin, Satan, death, and the grave. Then He left the tomb empty and left the Holy Spirit to counsel, comfort, encourage and teach us. (p. 22)

Our challenge as Christians, then, is to live "above the circumstances." This doesn't come naturally but is learned. In writing to the Christians in Philippi, Paul stated, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Phil. 4:11b-13). Therefore, rather than fretting (like Hannah), fighting (like Jacob) or fleeing (like Jonah) when the unpleasant circumstances come our way, we can find our strength in Christ and stand by the Proverbs 31 woman who "shall rejoice in time to come" (vs. 25). (p. 23)

The Bible gives us further instruction for putting a guard over our anxious hearts and minds: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7) Prayer, supplication and thanksgiving equals peace. Remember, it's not just thanksgiving for nice things, but "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:16-18). (pp. 24-25)

Sara Ann DuBose, Conquering Anxiety (Atlanta, GA: Committee for Christian Education & Publications, 1989)

Anxiety vs. The Fruit of the Spirit

2009-08-29T12:22:00.002-05:00

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

(From the book "Conquering Anxiety" by Sara Ann DuBose.) Can a Christian have all of these qualities of fruit and still be filled with anxiety? Of course not. Maybe we should consider why.

Love. An anxious person is overcome with thoughts of self. When self concerns fill the mind it is difficult, if not impossible, to show love to others.

Joy. An anxious person moans, complains, pouts or sulks over life's difficulties. Consumed by burdens, the anxious person experiences no joy.

Peace. An anxious person runs back and forth through the world searching for an answer or an escape from the anxiety and nervousness. However, since he or she is out of fellowship with God there is no peace, only worry and confusion.

Patience. An anxious person is often hurried and can act too quickly when making a judgment or decision. This restlessness and intolerance does nothing to attract friends to the individual or to Christ.

Kindness. An anxious person is often so frustrated with his or her own problems that no attention or time is given to the needs of others. Filled with selfish thoughts, this person rarely listens to others and may be annoyed when they ask for advice or help.

Goodness. An anxious person may possess integrity in moral life yet have such a fixed thought pattern of self interest that thoughtfulness and consideration are either lacking or absent in everyday living.

Faithfulness. An anxious person may begin to drift out of fellowship with God. Neglecting the Word and prayer only leads the individual into more anxiety and unhappiness.

Gentleness. An anxious person comes across as being abrasive and harsh. Even when efforts are made to be polite others can sense the worry and nervousness from facial expressions and the tone of voice.

Self-control. An anxious person has a problem with restraint and self-discipline. Indulgent, this individual often seeks pleasures and possessions more than grace, growth and godliness.

Sara Ann DuBose, Conquering Anxiety (Atlanta, GA: Committee for Christian Education & Publications, 1989) pp. 45-46

Anxiety Over the Life of Our Offspring

2009-08-29T09:00:00.002-05:00

The following is an excerpt from Sara Ann DuBose's book entitled "Conquering Anxiety." It comes from the chapter on Family Fears and is found on pages 66-69.

Someone may say, "... I have a problem. My anxiety comes when I can’t see how God is going to work it all out. When I feel out of control I tend to panic. Why does God sometimes ask me or my family to walk in the dark? Sometimes my mind races with thoughts of ‘what if.’ The possibilities appear and reappear like the black horse on a merry-go-round."

When Christians are faced with this temptation, and all of us are, I believe we can remember a wonderful ability God has given us. We can post a sign in our mind. God has said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Heb. 13:5). When the dark times come we can concentrate on this sign and not our circumstances. The circumstances are not in charge. God is in charge. He will not allow anything to happen to us or to our family that is not for our good. Why? Our family has been dedicated to the Lord, and He has promised, “…in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). And so, I will set my mind firmly on God. As I meditate on His grace and mercy He will also increase my peace.

Does this mean the uncertain, dark times will vanish immediately? No, not necessarily. But, one thing is sure. God has His hand on the clock and the thermostat. The time will not be too long nor the temperature too great for me.

Again, someone may say, "But what if my child is in pain and I can't help? Can God see me through this? How can I keep from feeling bitter?"

The answer to a child's pain is never easy and no Christian should minimize the hurt of a friend. Several years ago two friends and I went to visit the mother of a terminally ill child. Louise (not her real name) took a seat in a rocking chair in the living room and soon began to remind our young friend of God's sovereignty. Swinging her leg back and forth in a rhythmic fashion, she said, "Well, we can't understand God's ways, but know everything will work out for good." I couldn't help but wonder how Louise would have reacted if this had been her child. In fact, I was sorry we had made this call as a group. How much better if we had simply sat quietly and shared in our friend's pain.

Another type of hurt many parents face is the willful disobedience and rebellion of their children. When young people turn away from God for months or years the pain goes deep. In his third letter the apostle John wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth" (3 John 4). The "Children," of course, referred to all believers. Recently, however, I was reading from my father-in-law's old Bible and found something interesting. Not only was this verse underlined, but penciled beside it were two simple words: "mine, too."

As Christian parents we do have no greater joy than to see our biological children walking in truth. At the same time, we experience no greater disappointment or pain than when they disobey God and are drawn to a love of the world.

Not long ago I had one of those mailbox chats with my next-door neighbor. Mary mentioned a situation with her son and then added an expression her mother used to repeat when Mary was young. "Children step on your toes when they are young, but when they get older they step on your heart!" How true, I thought, as I headed back to the house with the mail. And the stepping on the heart is not with those little Mary Jane slippers and Buster Brown shoes. Sometimes it comes with the pressure of football cleats.

Every child, of course, has a strong self-will and is basically selfish. But mirrors are never far away. Adults are selfish, too. However, as we mature in the Christian life, whatever the age, the desire is to die more and more to self and worldly pursuits and to model our life like the Lord Jesus.

One example of this dying to self and living to righteousness is found in John's first letter. He writes, "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did" (1 John 2:6). Again, verses 15-17 continue, "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man (woman or child) who does the will of God lives forever."

So we try to be models for our children. Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail. Sometimes we succeed and they fail. The deepest hurt, the football cleat hurt, is when they fail again and again.

I have a friend whose son went on drugs and completely upset the atmosphere of the home. Soon he was influencing the younger son. Life was so disruptive they were forced to place him in a treatment center offering prolonged care. After a year of treatment all seemed well. The father, after the pattern of the father of the prodigal son, made this young man a beautiful ring and welcomed him back with an elaborate dinner and open arms. But the story does not have a happy ending. It wasn't the older sister or the younger brother who rebelled but the prodigal returned to his bottles and needles. Football cleats? We may need stronger words for this family's anxiety.

Today, as far as I know, this family is still waiting and praying. They reared this son in a strong Christian environment and they are not blaming themselves for his rebellion. Perhaps they have posted a sign in their minds, too. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." In any case, they have not taken their eyes or heart from Jesus, realizing faith is trust in the God of our circumstances and not the circumstances themselves.

Recently, I heard a suggestion on the Minirth-Meier call-in program and thought it was biblical advice for any family going through a difficult time. The psychiatrist encouraged this Christian family to break the day up into segments of time. They were to ask God for direction and endurance only for this particular time period and not to concentrate on the entire week, month or year ahead.

Since hearing this advice I've found numerous opportunities to practice it. In fact, over the last few weeks my plans, dreams and ambitions for our family have been interrupted and altered several times. In spite of some traumatic changes we are experiencing the uninterrupted presence of God. It's as if He is saying to us, "Remember I am changeless and faithful. I am working out a better plan for you because you are members of my family. Trust your Father."

Today I am taking another look at that sign in my mind, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." In fact, I've added a second one: "Nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37).

Sara Ann DuBose, Conquering Anxiety (Atlanta, GA: Committee for Christian Education & Publications, 1989) pp. 66-69

Where Does Anxiety Come From?

2009-08-28T23:05:00.002-05:00

In the book "Conquering Anxiety" by Sara Ann DuBose, the author quotes Mirnirth and Meier's "Happiness is a Choice" which defines anxiety as “an emotion which is characterized by feelings of uneasiness, apprehension, dread, concern, tension, restlessness and worry. The anxious individual often anticipates misfortune, danger or doom.” She also notes that "the Greek word for worry or anxiety in the New Testament means to divide, tear or rip apart. And that the Anglo-Saxon word for it is to choke or strangle [which hearkens to the seed which is tossed among thorns and is choked by the cares and riches of this world]. Anxiety is concern over something we can do nothing about. We neither know nor can we control the future. To worry over the future is a waste of energy. We accomplish nothing. Someone has said, 'Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives us something to do but it takes us nowhere.'" (pp. 7, 86)

There is not one of us who cannot sympathize with this feeling of drowning in our rocking chair of worries. Just to help you relate, have any of these worries ever crossed your mind?

If I'm single, will I experience fulfillment and purpose?
Will my marriage succeed?
Is God trying to punish me by causing us not to conceive?
Will our children be born healthy?
Can all my bills be paid this month?
What will my husband, mother, or friend think about what I said?
Will I lose this child to drugs, alcohol or disease?
Does my husband still love me?
Can I cope being a single parent?
How could I ever face being a widow?
Can I deal with aging and declining health?
Will God judge this country and send a pandemic disease?
Do I have cancer?
Will I live to see my children grow up?
Will my son/daughter get a divorce? What will become of their children?
Why did he/she let me down this way? (p. 1)

Everyone worries. Jesus even recognized that we would have them (John 16:33). "But take heart!" He reminds us. "I have overcome the world."

So where do all these worries come from? Well, obviously, they come from our circumstances... both past, present and future. They also come from our guilt, both real and imaginary. When this is the case, it's time to probe and ask, "Why am I suffering?" Like David we can say, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Ps. 139:23,24). Then, if God puts His finger on some sin, the next step is confession. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). (pp. 7-8)

Sara Ann DuBose, Conquering Anxiety (Atlanta, GA: Committee for Christian Education & Publications) 1989

Where Does Peace Come From?

2009-08-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

Peace, serenity or calmness is directly related to one's salvation and walk with God. It's true. A person can never be free from anxiety, and can never be content, without knowing Christ, the Prince of Peace. Apart from God, this person can expect to live with anxiety forever. Pills, psychoanalysis or alcohol will only offer a camouflage -- a temporary relief. St. Augustine was right when he said, "Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee..." (p. 13)

Therefore, understanding the path to salvation, we can also take the same path for uncovering the root of our anxieties. It all begins with sin. Yep, I said it: SIN. The basic reason for anxiety in anyone's life is sin. The sin of not trusting God. The sin of unrepentance which "stores up wrath against ourselves for the day of God's wrath, when His righteous judgement will be revealed. God will give to each person according to what he has done" (Rom. 2:5-6).

And what then, is our only solution for the problem of sin? "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven..." (Acts 2:38) This, then, is the requirement for knowing God and experiencing His peace--conviction and confession of sin. As we conquer sin we conquer anxiety. (pp. 14-15)

And if we do not repent for our sins, Matthew 11:28-30 tells us what will happen to us (in bold following), and urges us to DO unload: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Sara Ann DuBose, Conquering Anxiety (Atlanta, GA: Committee for Christian Education & Publications) 1989

The Bible is Our Best Source of Encouragement

2009-08-24T00:00:00.003-05:00

One of the activities that we did at our Tea & Titus meeting on August 6, on the topic of "Encouraging Eachother in the Faith," was to write down and share with eachother a favorite passage, verse, or story from the Bible that encourages you; that you have used to encourage others; or that others have used to encourage you. Here is a short list of what we came up with that night. If you have others that you would like to add, please leave a comment. You never know who might read it and be strengthened through it...

Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

James 1:2-4
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Matthew 5:3-11
Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

Ruth 1:16-17
But Ruth said:
“Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The LORD do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.”

Exodus 17:8-13
Now Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, “Choose us some men and go out, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

A Sensitive Heart

2009-08-15T14:15:00.003-05:00

In her book "Treasures of Encouragement," Sharon Betters deals a bit with encouraging those who are going through intense grieving—over loss of a spouse or child, for example. She gives a helpful list of what a “sensitive heart”—i.e. an encouraging heart—does and does not do.

A sensitive heart does not say…
1. I understand.
2. Call me if you need me.
3. You can have more children, get married again, fill your life with other things, etc.
4. I don’t know what to do. (and then prove it by doing nothing).
5. God needed him more than you.
6. God must really love you to put you through this.
7. You have to get on with your life.
8. Don’t cry.
9. Be strong.

A sensitive heart does not…
1. Try to be always cheerful.
2. Try to explain why.
3. Think her grieving friend is crazy.
4. Compare losses.

A sensitive heart will say…
1. I love you.
2. I’m so sorry this has happened.
3. Nothing. (But give lots of hugs and share lots of tears).
4. I’ll be in touch (and follows through).
5. I’m praying (and does).

A sensitive heart will…
1. Listen.
2. Allow her friend to express all emotions and not interject judgmental comments, especially in the beginning.
3. Read books that teach her how to help.
4. Keep visits short, unless the hurting friend insists she stay longer.
5. Discern when her friend needs to be alone, but not allow her to isolate herself completely.
6. Assure her friend that she is not crazy, just brokenhearted.
7. Offer to find more help when she senses her friend is sinking.
8. Acknowledge the pain.
9. Give permission to talk about the loss.
10. Stay in touch for the long haul with cards, phone calls, and special remembrances on birthdays, anniversaries, special holidays.
11. Ask the Holy Spirit for a specific Scripture to share at the right moment and trust God to use them as a healing balm.
12. Offer to do menial tasks (but never disturb the possessions of a deceased person without permission—i.e. do not clean out his or her room, change the bed, etc.)
13. Recognize that grief is a long process.
14. Tolerate volatile outbursts and intense emotions.
15. Not expect or demand thanks.
16. Pray, pray, pray every time she thinks of her friend.

A Treasury of Encouragement Ideas

2009-08-13T14:25:00.004-05:00

From Treasures of Encouragement: Women Helping Women in the Church by Sharon W. Betters (Phillipsburg, N.J., P & R Publishing, 1996) Appendix A

Write a note or letter telling someone what you particularly value about her or him.
Take a walk with a friend.
Go through old snapshots and choose a picture of a friend that brings back memories. Enlarge and frame the picture. Send it to your friend with a note reminding her of why the picture is special.
Plan a family project that serves someone else.
Send a note to your pastor. Tell why you appreciate his sermons or the worship service.
Ask your parents to tell your children about their childhood. Grandparents will feel appreciated.
Write a missionary regularly.
Write a letter to each family member telling each why you are glad he or she has been a part of your life. File the letters to be read with your will after your death.
Do yardwork for a shut in as a family project.
Call an old friend to see how she is.
Wash your teenager’s car and fill up the gas tank.
Take a friend out for breakfast. Invite someone who needs special attention.
Send someone flowers…just because.
Make a double recipe of cookies or soup. Freeze the extra batch to have available when a friend needs help.
Create a collage of memories using old and new photographs of a family member. Present it on a special occasion.
Make reservations at a hotel and surprise your spouse with an overnight getaway.
Bake cookies or fudge and mail it as a surprise gift to a long distance friend.
Call home and leave a loving message on the machine for your spouse.
Encourage family members by praying for them. Put each one’s name in a prayer basket. Pick a name each day and pray specifically for that person’s needs.
Surprise your spouse when he arrives home. Greet him at the door dressed up and have a candlelight dinner waiting.
Give coupons in lieu of purchased gifts. Coupons for free baby-sitting, grocery shopping, house cleaning, or car washing are a welcome treat.
Give a child a classic book. Take the child to a park once a week and read two chapters. Great idea for grandmothers.
Take an afternoon off from your work or your routine. Excuse your child from school—grades permitting—and take him or her to a ball game or a trip to a fire station, museum, or aquarium. Just have fun!
Take a family walk.
Give your husband and his friend a weekend away to a place of their choice (e.g. golfing, skiing, fishing).
Put together a jigsaw puzzle as a family.
Watch someone’s children on a Saturday so that she and her husband can spend the day together alone.
Give children or grandchildren an alternative to Saturday morning cartoons—breakfast at McDonald’s, games at a park, or a ride in the country.
Sit down with your child after school and ask questions like, “Who do you eat lunch with?” “What class do you enjoy the most?” “What did your teacher do today that made you laugh?” Listen to the answers and try to learn something new about your child.
Write a note of appreciation on a napkin before putting it in the lunchbag.
Tuck love notes into socks or bureau drawers of family members.
Send flowers to your husband (it’s okay to do that).
Take an elderly person shopping or out to lunch.
Clean house for someone who is ill; write someone who is alone.
Enclose Scripture verses or special bookmarks with your mail.
Pick someone other than a family member and pray for him or her all day.
Keep all Christmas cards, thank-you notes, birthday cards, etc. in a basket. At dinner time, pick a card and pray for that person or family.
Visit a nursing or retirement home with your children. Ask at the office for the name of someone who rarely receives visitors. Take your pet (get permission first) or a small gift. If you have a special talent, volunteer to perform.
Compile a family tree and give copies to your sisters, brothers, or cousins.
Make baked goods and invite a friend over for tea or coffee.
Say no to doing one thing a day for yourself and replace it with doing something for someone else. For example, give up an hour of TV and write a letter to your husband or call a friend.
Make time on Saturday evening to prepare your heart for Sunday worship. For example, turn off the lights and snuggle up on the sofa with your husband and listen to sacred music.
Make a list of people who have hurt your feelings. Ask God to search your heart for any bitterness. Replace your bitterness with kindness by doing something nice for everyone on the list.
Prepare extra salad or dessert for dinner. Take it to your sister, mother, sister-in-law, or friend. Just because you care.
Surprise your family with a picnic dinner and go to the park to eat.
Pack a basket of potato salad, sandwiches, fried chicken, and fruit for a family that’s moving.
Place a snack in the teacher’s room at your child’s school. Tuck in a thank you note with a verse of Scripture.
Deliver a bucket filled with cleaning supplies to a friend’s new house or apt. Stay and help clean if you can.
Ask a leader in the church ministry what his or her needs are—time, books, equipments, refreshments. As a family project, start a fund to purchase items.
Find a Scripture verse that describes a good quality of one of your friends. Send a copy of the verse to him or her along with a note of explanation and appreciation.

A Call to Older Women

2009-08-09T23:02:00.005-05:00

The following is an excerpt taken directly from Elisabeth Elliot's book entitled "Keep a Quiet Heart" (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 1995) pages 180-182. This book is a compilation of several lead articles from a newsletter that Mrs. Elliot had written over the course of a dozen years prior to the publishing of the book.

In 1948 when I [Elisabeth Elliot] had been at Prairie Bible Institute (a very stark set of wooden buildings on a very bleak prairie in Alberta) for only a few weeks, I was feeling a bit displaced and lonesome one afternoon when there came a knock on my door. I opened it to find a beautiful rosy-cheeked face framed by white hair. She spoke with a charming Scottish burr.

"You don't know me, but I know you. I've been prraying forr you, Betty dearr. I'm Mrs. Cunningham. If everr you'd like a cup of tea and a Scottish scone, just pop down to my little aparrtment."

She told me where she lived and went on to say that my name had been mentioned in a staff meeting (she never said how--was I thought of as a misfit at PBI? I wonder) and the Lord had given her a burden for me. Many were the wintry afternoons when I availed myself of her gracious offer and we sat together in her tiny but very cozy basement apartment while she poured tea for me and I poured my soul out to her. Her radiant face was full of sympathy, love, and understanding as she listened. She would be quiet for a little, then she would pray and, looking up, cheer and strengthen me with words from God. During and after my missionary years she wrote to me until she died. Only God knows what I owe to "the four Katherines"--Katherine Cunningham, Katharine Gillingham Howard (my own mother), Katherine Cumming (my house mother when I was in college), and Katherine Morgan. These and several others have not only shown me what godliness looks like (many have done that), but have significantly graced my life by obeying God's special call to older women.

The apostle Paul tells Titus that older women ought to "school the younger women to be loving wives and mothers, temperate, chaste, and kind, busy at home, respecting the authority of their own husbands" (Titus 2:4-5 NEB). My dear "Mom Cunningham" schooled me--not in a class or seminar, or even primarily by her words. It was what she was that taught me. It was her availability to God when He sent her to my door. It was the surrender of her time, an offering to Him for my sake. It was her readiness to "get involved," to lay down her life for one anxious Bible school girl. Above all, she herself, a simple Scottish woman, was the message.

I think of the vast number of older women today. The Statistical Abstract of the United States for 1980 says that 19.5 percent of the population was between ages 45-65, but by 2000 it will be 22.9 percent. Assuming that half of those people are women, what a pool of energy and power for God they might be. We live longer now than we did forty years ago (the same volume says that the over-sixty-fives will increase from 11.3 percent to 13 percent). There is more mobility, more money around, more leisure, more health and strength--resources which, if put at God's disposal, might bless younger women. But there are also many more ways to spend those resources, so we find it very easy to occupy ourselves selfishly. Where are the women, single or married, willing to hear God's call to spiritual motherhood, taking spiritual daughters under their wings to school them as Mom Cunningham did me? She had no training the world would recognize. She had no thought of such. She simply loved God and was willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for His sake. Retirement never crossed her mind.

If some of my readers are willing to hear this call but hardly know how to begin, may I suggest to you:

Pray about it. Ask God to show you whom, what, how.
Consider writing notes to or telephoning some younger woman who needs encouragement in the areas Paul mentioned.
Ask a young mother if you may do her ironing, take the children out, babysit so she can go out, make a cake or a casserole for her.
Do what Mom C. did for me--invite somebody to tea, find out what she'd like you to pray for (I asked her to pray that God would bring Jim Elliot and me together!)--and pray with her.
Start a little prayer group of two or three whom you can cheer and help. You'll be cheered and helped too!
Organize a volunteer housecleaning pool to go out every other week or once a month to somebody who needs you.
Have a lending library of books of real spiritual food.
Be the first of a group in your church to be known as the WOTT's (Women of Titus Two), and see what happens (something will).

"Say not you cannot gladden, elevate, and set free; that you have nothing of the grace of influence; that all you have to give is at the most only common bread and water. Give yourself to your Lord for the service of men with what you have. Cannot He change water into wine? Cannot He make stammering words to be instinct [imbued, filled, charged] with saving power? Cannot He change trembling efforts to help into deeds of strength? Cannot He still, as of old, enable you in all your personal poverty 'to make many rich?' God has need of thee for the service of thy fellow men. He has a work for thee to do. To find out what it is, and then to do it, is at once thy supremist duty and thy highest wisdom. 'Whatsoever He saith unto you, do it.'" (Canon George Body, b. 1840)

Pleasing People by Lou Priolo

2009-07-29T15:45:00.003-05:00

The following several posts are basically the outline of the book entitled "Pleasing People, How Not to be an "Approval Junkie" by Lou Priolo. It was a great book to read, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who knows that they need to revolutionize their thinking into being more heavenly minded and less earthly focused. It certainly stabs at our natural tendency to make people into idols, and replaces those idols with the only One who satisfies.

Pride Comes Before a Fall

2009-07-29T15:42:00.001-05:00

Pride is the delusion that your achievements are primarily the results of our your own doing. If you are prideful you will esteem yourself above and beyond the condition and proportion that God has appointed for you. And not only esteem yourself, but you will desire to be esteemed by others and desire to be exalted above and beyond what God has given you. Pride will manifest itself in your life in many ways:

Boasting about and taking credit for your wisdom, abilities, and gifts as though they were acquired primarily by self-effort.
Selfishly using for your own glory and benefit the wisdom, abilities, and gifts that God has given you for His glory and the benefit of others.
Viewing God in such a way as to think He was made for your pleasure rather than vice versa (making God as a means to an end rather than worshiping Him as the sovereign Creator and Sustainer of the universe).
Having a greater desire to be loved by others than for others to love God (wanting others to love you more than they love God).
Having a greater dependence on self than on God’s grace and provision.
Resorting to defensiveness, blame-shifting, justification, or anger when lawfully reproved by another.
Having a censorious, critical, condemning, accusing, judgmental attitude toward others, especially those in position of authority.
Being more prone to command than to obey, to teach than to be taught, to speak than to listen.
Having little or no respect for authority in general.
Becoming impatient or upset when contradicted in speech, especially publicly.
When wronged, being unwilling to forgive an offender who has not demonstrated extreme submission or repentance.
Investing more resources to establish your own honor than to establish God’s honor.
Being unwilling to admit when you are wrong.
Being inordinately curious about those things that you do not have a biblical need to know.
Being discontented with your position in life.
Being ungrateful for God’s mercies.
Failing to pray.
Being insensible to the dangers of temptation (being self-confident about handling temptation).
Being oversensitive to correction.
Having difficulty in being pleasing (because of excessively high expectations-aka perfectionism).

We are all very prideful people, whether we want to believe it or not. And pride, although it may sound contradictory, is the very source of our "people-pleasing" problems.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007), 109-124.

The Characteristics of a People Pleaser... Guilty as Charged

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Not only does the people-pleaser love the wrong thing (the approval of man rather than the approval of God), he fears the wrong thing as well—he fears the disapproval of man more than the disapproval of God. (Priolo, 23)

1. He fears the displeasure of man more than the displeasure of God. This is manifested by thoughts such as the following:

I’m not prepared to meet this person.
What does he think of me?
I’ll probably make a fool of myself.
I can’t reveal too much of myself or he will know what I’m really like and reject me.
I can’t bear the thought of being hurt again.
I have to get away from this person as quickly as possible.
I have to be careful not to say anything that might get me into a conflict.

2. He desires the praise of man above the praise of God.
3. He studies what it takes to please man as much as (if not more than) what it takes to please God.
4. His speech is designed to entice and flatter others into thinking well of him.

Rarely confronts sin in the life of another believer.
Rarely challenges or even questions the opinion of others.
Prematurely terminates conflicts (usually by yielding, withdrawing, or changing the subject).
Rarely reveals to others the truth about who he really is inside (especially his struggles with sin.)
Steers conversations away from those topics that might cause others to realize what he is really like inside.
Shades the truth (lies) in order “not to offend others.”
Finds clever ways to subtly introduce his accomplishments into conversations.
Fishes for compliments.
Listens attentively when others talk of things that displease them (so as not to say or do anything that might result in rejection).
Frequently puts himself down in the hope that others will disagree with his purposely exaggerated negative self-assessment.
Finds it difficult to say “no” to those who make requests of him, even when he knows that saying “yes” will not be the best choice.

5. He is a respecter of persons. (Shows partiality or favortism.)
6. He is oversensitive to correction, reproof, and other allusions of dissatisfaction or disapproval on the part of others.
7. He outwardly renders eye service to man rather than inwardly rendering sincere (from the heart) ministry to the Lord.
8. He selfishly uses the wisdom, abilities, and gifts that have been given to him for God’s glory and the benefit of others for his own glory and personal benefit.

Personal Wealth
Physical Beauty
Spiritual Gifts
Wisdom
Honor of One’s Vocation
Artistic Ability
Athletic Ability
Verbal Ability
Musical Ability
Intellectual Ability
Financial Status
Family Heritage
Position in the Community
Position at Work
Bible Knowledge
Managerial Skill
Good Reputation
Spiritual Accomplishments
Location of One’s Home
Appearance of One’s Home
Accomplishments of Children
Worldly Possession

9. He invests more of his personal resources in establishing his own honor than he does in establishing God’s honor.
10. He is discontented with the condition and proportion that God has appointed for him.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007), 22-36.

The Dangers of Being a People Pleaser

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1. Inordinate people-pleasing brings you into bondage by enslaving you to everyone whom you desire to please.
2. The excessive love of praise takes from you the honor you so eagerly seek.
3. Immoderate people-pleasing causes you to lose eternal rewards.
4. The inordinate desire for approval blinds you to your own sin.
5. Pride tempts you to exaggerate your virtues.
6. Pride tempts you to minimize your flaws.
7. Pride tempts you to distort and magnify the seriousness of your flaws.
8. Pride tempts you to change things in your life according to man’s priorities rather than the agenda of the Holy Spirit.
9. Pride focuses your attention on changing the outer man more than the inner man.
10. An excessive love of praise tempts you to believe man’s opinion of yourself over God’s opinion.
11. The inordinate desire for approval makes you susceptible to flattery and renders you more vulnerable to deception and manipulation from others.
12. The inordinate desire for approval makes the people-pleaser susceptible to many other sinful temptations.

The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to say “yes” when he ought to say “no.”
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to be a respecter of persons (to show partiality).
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to give in to peer pressure.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to be indecisive.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to choose the wrong kinds of friends for the wrong reasons.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to discontentment and greed.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to be timid about sharing his faith.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to hypocrisiy.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to respond defensively when reproved by others.
The love of approval tempts the people-pleaser to loquaciousness (opening his mouth before engaging his brain).

13. Immoderate people-pleasing robs the approval-seeker of his peace and joy.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007), 51-82.

You Can't Please All of the People Even Some of the Time

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It is fruitless to try to please men because each person is different and therefore, by pleasing some, you will inevitably displease others.
It is unrealistic to try to please people because selfishness distorts their thinking and raises their expectations above that which you can reasonably fulfill.
It is futile to try to please people because most of them are unregenerate and believe you to be “foolish” and “strange.”
It is unreasonable to try to please people because even among Christians, judgmental attitudes and critical spirits are all too prevalent.
It is futile to try to please people because even Jesus Christ, the Perfect Man, did not please everyone.
It is useless to try to please people because they are fundamentally incapable of being pleased by anyone or anything other than Christ.

But You Can Please God

It’s not enough for you to simply stop being a people-pleaser. The biblical process of change (putting off and putting on – Eph. 4:22ff.) requires not only that you break your unbiblical patterns of thinking, but also that you replace them with their proper alternatives. Fear of man for fear of God. Desire to please man above all else for the desire to please God above all else…(95).

Therefore we also have as our ambition [make it our aim],
whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. (2 Corinthians 5:9).

You have only one Master to please rather than many.
The One you please is wiser than man and will neither misunderstand you nor treat you unreasonably.
The One you please will judge you not on outward appearance, but on that which is in your heart.
The One you please is not a respecter of persons (undue and unfair partiality).
The One you please is immutable (His mind never changes).
The One you please does not require you to harm yourself in order to please him, but is pleased only with those things that will ultimately lead to your own happiness.
The One you please will not be influenced by talebearers, gossips, or false accusers. Neither will he be misled by misinformation.

Your primary calling in life is to please and glorify God in all that you do. The knowledge that you are walking worthy of the Lord, pleasing him in all respects (cf. Col. 1:10), should be a source of peace, security, joy, and contentment that will prevail over any fear of man’s disapproval. If God is pleased with your life, what does it matter if man is displeased? God’s approval and favor is a sufficient reward (Priolo, 107).

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007), 83-107.

Characteristics of a God-Pleaser

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1. He realizes that he cannot please God apart from being a Christian.
2. He studies the Scriptures to understand exactly what it takes to please God.
3. In everything he does, he is conscious of pleasing God. For instance a People-Pleaser might think the following thoughts, versus a God Pleaser who thinks:

What will others think if I do this? -vs- What will God think if I do this?
Will I fail? vs. How will God be glorified if I fail?
How can I make him love me? -vs- How can I show Christ’s love to him?
Am I as pretty as she? -vs- Am I as godly as Christ?
Will being his friend improve my image? -vs- Will being his friend glorify God?
How can I keep him from rejecting me? -vs- How can I minister to him?
Will I embarrass myself? -vs- Will I sin against God?
What do my friends expect me to do? -vs- What does the Bible say I should do?

4. When he pleases people, he does so out of loving motives, not selfish ones. Especially in relation to giving, a People-Pleaser might have the following motives, versus the motives of a God-Pleaser:

To boost his reputation -vs- To obey God, to show love to God
To be commended -vs- To glorify God
To be seen differently than he really is -vs- To minister to others
To gain some other temporal reward -vs- To gain eternal rewards
To avoid conflict -vs- To bring about peace
To avoid rejection -vs- To show love to others
To receive honor -vs- To worship God
To receive praise -vs- To express gratitude to God
To edify himself -vs- To edify another

5. He knows that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” Therefore, when it comes to relationships with other people, the God-Pleaser will avoid the following thoughts, and replace them with...

I wonder what he’ll think of me. -vs- I wonder what his needs are.
I’d better not let him get too close to me. -vs- Maybe I can be a good influence on him.
If he gets too close, he’ll realize I’m not perfect and then he’ll reject me. -vs- What matters is not what he thinks of me but how I can minister to him.
I’ve got to keep him from finding out about my problems. -vs- I wonder if he has any problems that I can help him solve God’s way?
I’ll probably make a fool of myself. -vs- If I make a fool of myself, so be it. I’m more concerned about meeting his needs than I am about what he thinks of me.

6. He considers amending not only his actions, but also his thoughts and motives.

What can I wear to the party that will not make me look fat? -vs- To whom can I minister at this party?
I don’t smoke, drink, chew, or go with girls who do. -vs- My goal is to do nothing that will harm my body (the Holy Spirit’s temple) or bring reproach to the name of Christ.
My pastor will be disappointed if he finds out that I went to that movie. -vs- I will not go to any movie that will violate my conscience.
I’ve got to do my homework if I don’t want to be embarrassed. -vs- I’ve got to do my homework if I want to be a faithful steward.
I’ve got to go read by Bible now because it’s late and my parents expect me to read it every day. -vs- I’m going to try to read my Bible every day because it’s so vital to my spiritual growth.
I’ve got to learn how to stop putting my foot in my mouth. -vs- What is it in my heart that tempts me to say such foolish thing? Or: What can I say that will edify others or bring glory to God?

7. He is concerned about fulfilling not only his public duties but also his private ones.

The person who loves God’s approval does not put all his spiritual energies into doing public duties (corporate worship, teaching, Sunday school, Bible studies, evangelistic outreach, showing hospitality, etc.). He budgets his time so as to discharge his private obligations as well.
Behind closed doors, he worships God, thanking Him for who He is and for all He has done. He confesses his sin to God, and repents of it. He agonizes in intercessory prayer. He gives of his money and material possessions in secret (if not anonymously). When he fasts, he does so in such a way that no one will know that he’s up to. He prepares his heart for worship before he goes to church. He reads and studies his Bible regularly. He meditates on Scripture. He cooperates with the Holy Spirit in the sanctification process. He cares for his soul and for the souls of those for whom he is responsible. And if anyone tries to pressure him into additional public service, he will not accept it if, in his heart, he knows it will keep him from fulfilling his private obligations.
Moreover, he behaves in an upright way when he is in his own home. His attitude is, “I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart” (Ps. 101:2b). He flees temptation, resists the devil, and controls his temper and his appetites when no one is around just as he does when people are looking. (Priolo, 140)

8. He is more concerned with what God sees in his heart than what man sees in his appearance.
9. He programs his conscience by the Bible rather than by the culture.
10. He does not shy away from necessary conflict or confrontation.
11. He does not worry or fret when he displeases people if, by so doing, he pleases God.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007)127-146.

What Exactly Does it Take to Please God?

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Faith - The faith that pleases God is a dependent faith.

By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; and he was not found because God took him up; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God. And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. (Heb. 11:5-6)

Walking with Him - Your walk refers to your daily pattern of conduct.

Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters. So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years. Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him. (Gen. 5:22-24)

Sanctification (holiness) - Become increasingly set apart (dedicated) to Him; progressively freer from sin; increasingly characterized by love for God and neighbor.

Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality ... (1 Thess. 4:1-3)

Your Cooperation - It is our responsibility to actively participate in the work of progressive sanctification.

So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. (Phil. 2:12-13)

Doing Good Works - Godly actions motivated by a love for God and neighbor are the essence of good works.

For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God ... (Col. 1:9-10)

Knowledge and Wisdom - Knowledge is not "facts to be learned" but rather "truth to be lived." Jesus did not instruct His disciples to know His commandments, but rather "to observe all that I commanded you."

In Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream at night; and God said, "Ask what you wish me to give you." Then Solomon said, "You have shown great lovingkindness to your servant David my father, according as he walked before You in truth and righteousness and uprightness of heart toward You; and You have reserved for him this great lovingkindness, that You have given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day. Now, O Lord my God, You have made Your servant king in place of my father David, yet I am but a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. Your servant is in the midst of Your people which You have chosen, a great people who are too many to be numbered or counted. So give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?" It was pleasing in the sight of the Lord that Solomon had asked this thing. (1 Kings 3:5-10)

Gratitude (Worship) - By giving thanks to the Lord for who He is and what He has done, you actually perform a service (a good work, if you please) to God that pleases Him.

Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe ... (Heb. 12:28)

Godly Ambition - A person with godly ambition has such a heartfelt determination to bring pleasure to God that it penetrates everything he does--every thought, every decision, every word, every attitude.

Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. (2 Cor. 5:9-10)

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007) 147-163.

Humility

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“Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed

to the proud, but gives grace to the humble” –1 Peter 5:5

1. Forgiveness

The Bible instructs us to forgive, “just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). How does God forgive us? He tells us in Isaiah 43:25 and Jeremiah 31:34: “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins,” and “I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”…

So forgiveness is fundamentally a promise. As God promises to not hold our sins against us, so we also must promise to not hold the sins of those we’ve forgiven against them. This promise can be broken down into three parts. First, you promise to not bring up the offense to the forgiven person so as to use it against him. Second, you promise to not discuss the forgiven offense with others. Finally, you promise to not dwell on the forgiven offense yourself, but remind yourself instead that you have forgiven your offender “just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32).

2. Esteem Others Better Than Yourself

Don’t assume that others have exactly the same evil motives as you find in your own heart (love “believes all things,” 1 Cor. 13:7), but rather put the best possible interpretation on their actions.
Look for those virtuous qualities in others that you know you are most in need of yourself. Then seek their help in acquiring those qualities.
Don’t assume that your time, money, energy, thoughts, and opinions are more valuable than your neighbor’s.
When making a decision, consider not only how that decision will affect your own interests, but also how it will affect the interests of others.
Be alert not only to your own needs, but also to the needs of others.
Demonstrate your high estimation of others by commending them for those qualities that are biblically worthy of praise.
Guard your heart from developing a pattern of critical, condemnatory, accusatory, judgmental thoughts about others. (Such thoughts make it very difficult, if not impossible, to esteem others better than yourself.)
Pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Remind yourself often that God has given to you everything you have to be proud of and that He has often used others to get you where you are. Thank God and thank those whom He has used to bless you.

3. Put on the Mind of Christ

Can you be proud while you believe that your Savior was clothed with flesh, and lived in modesty, and made himself of no reputation, and was despised and scorned and spat upon by sinners, and shamefully treated and nailed as a common criminal to a cross?
Did Christ take upon himself the form of a servant so that you could domineer and have the highest place of honor?
Did Christ not have a place to lay his head so that you could insist upon a home with luxurious furnishings?
Must you brave it out in your most fantastic outfits instead of your Savior’s seamless coat?
Did he pray for his murderers so that you could demand vengeance for petty words and wrongs?
Did he patiently endure being spit upon and pummeled so that you could, with impatient pride, abuse others?

4. Give your reputation to God.
5. Redirect praise back to God and to those individuals to whom God has used to help you accomplish your achievements.
6. Associate with the humble.
7. Take upon yourself the form of a servant.

Make a list of the closest people in your life (spouse, children, parents, brothers, bosses, employees, teachers, friends, working associates, or anyone else whom you have regular opportunities to serve.
Learn how to talk in terms of what is of interest to them.
Learn how to ask them questions with the attitude of a learner and a servant.
Regularly pray for them and for your attitude toward them.
Make it your goal to help them achieve their God-honoring goals.
Look for opportunities to minister to them.
Ask their forgiveness.

8. Make it your goal to have others formulate their opinion of you based on your Christian character.
9. Do not go fishing for compliments.
10. Avoid developing friendships with those who are prone to flattery.
11. Learn to be content with the condition and proportion that God has given to you.
12. Don’t overvalue friendships.
13. Learn how to glory in your weaknesses and glorify God for you strengths.
14. Learn to bring every people-pleasing thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
15. Look to your responsibilities and leave your reputation to God.

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007)165-216.

Store Up Your Treasures in Heaven

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Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matt. 6:19-21)

We are to think of heaven when facing:

trials

suffering and affliction

persecution

death

the death of a loved one

temptation

disappointments about life on earth

opportunities to show love to others

opportunities for ministry

directives from our spiritual leaders

being influenced by doctrinal error

discouragement in our Christian walk

increased affluence

spiritual apathy (opposite of diligence)

arrogant thoughts about our past accomplishments

self-exalting desires and circumstances

If you value eternal things (if you are more concerned about storing up heavenly treasures than earthly ones), it will be a relatively simple thing for you to overcome your struggle with being a people-pleaser. Not that it will be easy. It will still require much effort, considerable amounts of time, and restructuring your thoughts as you depend on the Holy Spirit for His enabling grace. (Priolo, 236)

But to the degree that you have a temporal value system (to the extent that you are more focused on enjoying earthly pleasures than heavenly ones), you will find the teachings and reproofs of this book very hard to swallow, and the practical guidelines for correction and training in righteousness very tedious indeed. If you find yourself in this latter category, let me urge you to begin your journey by confessing your sin of worldliness to God. Then ask Him to give you the grace to love Christ "with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength" (you will not be able to love God's approval more than man's approval if you don't love Him as you should), and to "set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth" (Col. 3:2). And be patient--God will probably not wean you of your love of the world overnight. It will take time, effort, and thought to refocus your spiritual eyes, but in the end it will be worth it. (Priolo, 236)

Lou Priolo, Pleasing People: How Not To Be An Approval Junkie (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007) 217-236.

Our Fluctuating Emotions

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Knowing that we are created in the image of God, and knowing that He himself displays a wide range of emotions in Scripture, it would be silly for us to think that our emotions are inherently evil and ought to be suppressed at all costs. However, because of the Fall, our emotions will subject us to a myriad of temptations that often lead us right into the paths of sin. And those temptations come as quickly as the tossing tide...

When we allow [our feelings] to be tied to our circumstances--which are constantly changing--rather than to the unchangeable realities of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly... It doesn't take much to put our emotions on an upswing--a clear, sunny day, a raise at work, a compliment from a friend, the successful completion of a big project, or losing five pounds. Meanwhile, emotional lows can be the result of a variety of factors including (but not limited to) a series of cloudy days, a tough day at the office, a disappointing phone call, the realization that our clothes have gotten too tight, the time of the month, a sleepless night, or a pizza we ate too late the night before... When you add in "big things" like the birth of a fourth child in five years, a major move, the loss of a job, the death of a mate or child, caring for a parent with Alzheimer's, going through the change of life, or being diagnosed with cancer, those emotions can really go haywire. (DeMoss, 195)

Therefore, knowing how quickly our circumstances change and how often our emotions can fluctuate, we ought to take a moment to brace ourselves from the lie that "If I feel something, it must be true." Instead, we can cling to the Truths of Scripture that we are loved, we are blessed, we have been forgiven, nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, the Lord has purposed every circumstance of our lives for our good, we will be perfected in Christ on the final day, etc.

DeMoss, Nancy Leigh; Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free (Chicago: Moody, 2001)

In Your Anger Do Not Sin

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Take a moment to seriously consider how much do your emotions affect your actions on any given day?

I'll admit, my emotions affect MOST of my actions on any given day. The scary thing is, I often express those emotions in sinful ways. Rather than pray for my enemies, I'll often pick up the telephone and gossip or slander. Rather than calming myself down and being thankful for the duties of motherhood, I'll find opportunity to rip into my children's actions with a loud and quick-tempered "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!" Rather than joyfully accepting the loving and much needed corrections of my husband, I'll sulk in a corner mentally counting his wrongs and excusing mine. Even in the minor duties of day-to-day tasks I'll find occasion to squander my responsibilities on account of my feelings!

But the Bible has an answer for getting a grip on our out-of-control emotions. And you've probably guessed it: set your mind on Him.

You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You,

Because he trusts in You. -Isaiah 26: 3

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true,

whatever things are noble, whatever things are just,

whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely,

whatever things are of good report,

if there is any virtue and if there is

anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

The things which you learned and received

and heard and saw in me, these do,

and the God of peace will be with you. -Philippians 4: 8-9

If then you were raised with Christ,

seek those things which are above,

where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.

Set your mind on things above,

not on things on the earth. -Colossians 3: 1-2

Now that you have considered your emotions and the extent to which they can overcome your actions, take another moment to consider which emotion you have the hardest time controlling? Consider how you generally express that emotion and how God would have you express it. You may even want to use one of the following promises or commands to help provide the means by which your emotions may be steadied in the midst of a storm:

God’s Word promises, “I am with you always” (Matthew 28:20). Therefore, we don’t have to be overcome by loneliness.
God’s Word promises, “My God will meet all your needs” (Philippians 4:19). Therefore, we don’t have to stay awake at night worrying about how the mortgage will get paid.
God’s Word promises, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken” (Isaiah 54:10). Therefore, we don’t have to live in dread of an uncertain future.
God’s Word says, “Do not be afraid” (John 14:27). That means we don’t have to give in to fear, regardless of our circumstances.
God’s Word say, “Don’t worry about anything” (Philippians 4:6 TLB). That means that even in the midst of stressful circumstances, we don’t have to be anxious.
God’s Word says, “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). That means we can choose to be thankful, even when everything around us seems to be falling apart.
God’s Word says, “Love you enemies” (Matthew 5:44). That means, by the power of the Spirit, we can choose to love anyone—no matter how greatly they have wronged us.
God’s Word says, “If you hold anything against anyone, forgive him” (Mark 11:25). That means there is no one we cannot choose to forgive, no matter how deeply they may have hurt us or sinned against us. (DeMoss, 198-199)

Part of setting our minds on things above is burying ourselves in rich communion with God through prayer. The Psalms show us that in the midst of some very difficult emotional struggles David understood the value of pouring out his heart to the Lord. Whether he was joyful, angry, sad, fearful, or humbled; through his Psalms he gave us good examples of bringing God into our struggles:

Psalm 6

1 O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger,

Nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure.

2 Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak;

O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.

3 My soul also is greatly troubled;

But You, O LORD—how long?

4 Return, O LORD, deliver me!

Oh, save me for Your mercies’ sake!

5 For in death there is no remembrance of You;

In the grave who will give You thanks?

6 I am weary with my groaning;

All night I make my bed swim;

I drench my couch with my tears.

7 My eye wastes away because of grief;

It grows old because of all my enemies.

8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity;

For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.

9 The LORD has heard my supplication;

The LORD will receive my prayer.

10 Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled;

Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.

The previous Psalm displays some Truths about God that helped David find emotional stability. Can you find them?

DeMoss, Nancy Leigh; Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free (Chicago: Moody, 2001)

How Do We Respond When Our Hormones Are Out of Whack?

2009-07-14T15:40:00.004-05:00

cramps
headache
hot flashes
acne outbreak
weepiness
short temper
moodiness
nauseous
hung up on the minor things...

Sound familiar? Sound like PMS, a pregnancy, or menopause?

Certainly what happens in our bodies does affect us emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. We cannot isolate these various dimensions of who we are—they are inseparably intertwined. But we fall into the trap of the Enemy when we justify fleshly, sinful attitudes and responses based on our physical condition or hormonal changes. (DeMoss, 201)

How do you respond when your body is going through its womanly cycles and seasons? Do you feel like you respond well, or do you use those changes in your body as an excuse for poor behavior? We all do it, whether out loud or under our breath, use our physical feelings to justify carnality. What's worse is when our behavior begins to wreck relationships we have with other people.

As with other aspects of nature, God has designed our bodies to function in seasons and cycles. Certainly each season of life has its challenges. One of the consequences of the Fall was that childbearing would be accompanied by sorrow and pain. Childbirth is not the only time those consequences are felt. For example, the difficulties some women experience associated with their menstrual cycle are a practical reminder of our fallen condition. But every monthly cycle is also a reminder that God made us women, and that with our womanhood comes the capacity for being a bearer and nurturer of life. Even as a single woman, I find this to be a gracious and valuable reminder of who I am, why God created me, and how I can best glorify Him here on this earth. (201-202)

Psalm 139:

1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;

You understand my thought afar off.

3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,

And are acquainted with all my ways.

4 For there is not a word on my tongue,

But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.

5 You have hedged me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high, I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

9 If I take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"

Even the night shall be light about me;

12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,

But the night shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

13 For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!

18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

When I awake, I am still with You.

Luke 12: 7

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

What an incredible thought! Long before you were born, every molecule of your body and every day of your life, from conception to the grave, was carefully thought through and planned by God. He ordained the day you would start menstruation, when and how many times you would be able to conceive, and exactly when you would stop ovulating. He understands exactly what is taking place in your body through every season and change. (202)

Is it conceivable that this wise, loving Creator would be unaware of our hormone levels at any stage of maturity or would have failed to make provision for every season of life? He does not offer an easy or trouble-free process of growth. But He has promised to meet all our needs and to give us grace to respond to the challenges and difficulties associated with every stage of life. (203)

DeMoss, Nancy Leigh: Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free (Chicago: Moody, 2001)

Reverent in How She Acts

2009-07-06T22:31:00.008-05:00

Copied directly from Becoming a Titus 2 Woman by Martha Peace (Focus Publishing Inc., 1997) page 35.

[One] way a godly woman is reverent in her behavior is by how she acts. She shows love to others by remembering that "love is not rude" (1 Corinthians 13:5). She has good manners. She does not push and shove in the department store. She does not embarrass herself and others by yelling at the store clerk and making loud threats when circumstances are not going her way. She is not loud and obnoxious and rolling over people like a steam roller. Plainly put, she behaves herself. She is a proper lady at home and in public.

I want to clarify something here. Being "reverent in her behavior" does not mean she whispers when she talks, hides in the background, or does not look at others when they talk. I used to know a woman who did whisper when she talked and I remember thinking, "she is so sweet and feminine and godly." That is what I thought before I really got to know her character! It turned out that she is mean as a snake, but she certainly whispers sweetly as the venom is coming out of her mouth.

In contrast, women who are actually reverent in their behavior enjoy life. They laugh and speak loudly enough for others to hear. They do not have a false idea of spirituality. They have fun and love the Lord. They want to make others comfortable. They show love to others by acting properly as they rejoice in every day that the Lord has made. Their dress, attitude, and behavior are pleasing to the Lord. They are a modernized version of the "holy women of old" (1 Peter 3:5).

How Can We Cure Our Fiery Tongues?

2009-06-26T14:53:00.002-05:00

The Ten Commandments by Douma, page 323.

No cure for this ailment exists other than radical conversion. That is how deep the lying lives in us. In our conversion, we must put off the old nature; but in that same context Paul says that we must put away lying and start speaking the truth. We can do this only through the grace of God’s liberation. Also above the ninth commandment stands the preamble: “I am Yahweh, your God, who has freed you from Egypt, the house of slavery.” This is not self-redemption, which enslaves us to the lie; rather, this is liberation by Yahweh, who rescues us from bondage to lying. Jesus Christ says, “I am the way, THE TRUTH, and the life.”

Guard and Advance

2009-06-26T14:40:00.004-05:00

Lord's Day 43
Q. What is God's will for you in the ninth commandment? (You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.)

A. God's will is that I never give false testimony against anyone, twist no one's words, not gossip or slander, nor join in condemning anyone without a hearing or without a just cause.

Rather, in court and everywhere else, I should avoid lying and deceit of every kind; these are devices the devil himself uses, and they would call down on me God's intense anger. I should love the truth, speak it candidly, and openly acknowledge it. And I should do what I can to guard and advance my neighbor's good name.

How can we actively guard and advance our neighbor’s name?
The following words are paraphrased from Martha Peace's book "Becoming a Titus 2 Woman" and are found on pages 39 and 40.

We can guard by standing up to gossips, say something like, “If we continue to talk about this or I continue to listen to you talk, we are likely to begin to gossip.” You may be thinking, “I do not want to gossip, but what should I do if another woman wants to talk to me about a problem she is having in a relationship and she does not know what to do.” Suppose she comes to you and has a problem with her friend at church. First determine if her desire is to respond righteously. If so, listen to just enough to give her biblical guidance such as, “You need to go to your friend and gently confront her with her sin. Your motive should be to restore her to a right relationship with God” (Gal. 6:1). Show her appropriate Scriptures and point out her responsibility. If she comes back to you and wants to talk about it again but does not want to talk to her friend, then do not listen but explain, “Last time we talked I listened to enough info to give you biblical guidance. Now if we continue to talk about it, we’ll just be gossiping.” Then encourage her to do what is right, pray with her, and follow up later by asking her if she did. But do not let yourself be pulled into gossip.

We can advance our neighbor's good name by saying words that are of “good repute.” Good repute words think of the other person’s reputation in a favorable light. These thoughts are the kind of thoughts we are to carefully consider and think about. Otherwise it is so easy to let a bad report out and become what we are warned against becoming: a malicious gossip. If there is something about the person that would paint them in a bad light, go TO the person and speak to them about it. Your demeanor should be gentle and loving, but truthful, clear, and straightforward. Give them hope. Do not give a bad report. Do not gossip.

James 3

2009-06-26T14:18:00.005-05:00

The following passages are from the NIV and commentary from Calvin and Douma.

1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
James explains the evils which proceeds from the neglect of restraining the tongue, in order that we might know that the tongue can do MUCH good or MUCH evil. James notes that if it is modest and well regulated, it becomes a bridle to the whole life, but that if it is loose and violent, like a fire it destroys all things. And he represents it as a small or little fire, to intimate that the smallness of the tongue will not hinder the power it has to extend far and wide to do harm.

6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
The tongue is set afire by hell itself. There dwells the father of lies, the Devil. Jesus spoke this against the Jews who were boasting that Abraham was their father. He pointed out that they did not understand the truth, so they were not free sons of Abraham, but slaves of sin. “You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do.” Jesus’ criticism is revealing, not only for the Jews of His day, but for all of us. Lying lives very deep within us, because we have been defiled with lying by the father of lies. Through his fall into sin, man has not simply been defiled with the lie, but dominated by it. The truth of God is exchanged for the lie, so that the creature is worshiped instead of the Creator. The lie is not an incidental phenomenon, but is characteristic of fallen man. All men became deceitful (Rom. 3:9-18)

7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
This is a confirmation of the last verse; that Satan rules most effectively by the tongue. And he proves that it cannot be brought to due order by making comparisons. For he says that there is no animal so savage or fierce, which is not tamed by the skill of man, -- that fishes, which in a manner inhabit another world, -- that birds, which are so quick and roaming -- and that serpents, which are so detrimental to mankind, are sometimes tamed. Since then the tongue cannot be restrained, there must be some secret fire of hell hidden in it. If we desire to structure our life aright, we must especially strive to restrain the tongue, for no part of man does more harm.

9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
He uses the comparisons in this verse in order to show that a cursing tongue is something monstrous, contrary to all nature, and subverts the order everywhere established by God. When you think of some of these things – a spring yielding both salt and fresh water – it seems so absurd to us! It is a chaotic mixture that goes completely against the natural order. We should be turned off just as much by the double tongue as we are by such a fountain.

13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.
The Lord teaches his people to be meek and to be courteous to others. They, then, are alone wise in the sight of God, who connect this meekness with an honest conversation; for those that are harsh and stubborn, though they may excel others in many virtues, do not yet follow the right way of wisdom.

14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
That we may then really glory that we are the children of God, he bids us to act calmly and meekly towards our brethren; otherwise he declares that we are lying in assuming the Christian name.

15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
Men, following their own sense, or minds, or feelings, soon became a prey to the delusions of Satan. James meant to express something heavy, even that the malignant and the slanderer does everything confusedly and rashly, as though he were beside himself; and therefore he adds, every evil work.

17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
He now mentions the effects of wisdom from above which is completely contrary to the former effects. He says first that it is pure; which excludes hypocrisy and ambition. He, in the second place, calls it peaceable, to intimate that it is not contentious. In the third place, he calls it kind or humane, that we may know that it is far away from that immoderate austerity which tolerates nothing in our brethren. He also calls it gentle or polite; by which he means that it widely differs from pride and malignity. In the last place, he says that it is full of mercy, etc., while hypocrisy is inhuman and relentless. By good fruits he generally refers to all those duties that benevolent men perform towards their brethren; as though he had said, it is full of benevolence.

18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
He therefore adds, by those who make peace; which ought to be explained: they who STUDY peace, are nevertheless careful to sow righteousness; nor are they slothful or negligent in promoting and encouraging good works; but they moderate their zeal with the condiment of peace, while hypocrites throw all things into confusion by a blind and furious violence.

Uncovering the Truth about Gossip and Slander

2009-06-13T22:40:00.004-05:00

Have you heard…
Did you know…
They tell me…
I’ve known for a long time, but never said anything…
Keep this to yourself, but…
Even though I’ve told you this about him, he has his good points, too.
I wouldn’t tell you except I know you wouldn’t tell anyone.
I am telling you this so you can pray.

Sound familiar? If you catch yourself hearing or speaking these phrases, let your red flags go up. Chances are good that gossip or slander is quickly following.

What is gossip? A rumor or report of an intimate nature, chatty talk, chipping away at the good name of a neighbor, and my favorite: frivolous prattling. Somebody who is characterized as being a gossip would be defined as a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others. We all do it, don't we? And unfortunately, we almost all engage in it more than once a day.

What is slander? To slander somebody means to utter against, defame, malign, or harm the reputation of. It is generally evil in nature, influence and effect. It would be having or showing fairly intense and often vicious ill-will toward another person. Slander might even be true, but it goes beyond gossip when a person's mistakes, faults and shortcomings are discussed in minute detail.

Can you think of a time that gossip or slander ever did any good for a person's reputation? Probably not. So why do we spend so much time frivolously prattling about other people?

The following is an excerpt from Douma's book on the Ten Commandments. From pages 321-322, Douma spends this chapter discussing the Ninth Commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. In this section he is going into detail about how deep lying lives within us:

Evidently we have a hard time being honest. Even if we have never given false testimony in court, we still catch ourselves gossiping, judging rashly, and twisting another person’s words. Even the slanderer finds a ready audience. His words are like tasty morsels; they slide down easily to the inner recesses of the heart (Prov. 18:8)... Lying or believing lies both come easily for us. But why?... Because we do not take life seriously enough; we have too much time for fun and for games of chance, for fiction and theater. In our conversation we reduce the life of the other person to a game and a stage performance. The lie entertains and diverts us. With the lie we can play a game with our neighbor. We become oblivious to the fact that our neighbors are living persons with their own interests, honor and reputation. The world of fantasy is bigger and more interesting that the real world. Everyday life bores us. Gossip is the spice people need to enhance their otherwise dull lives.

So just why are gossip and slander the "socially acceptable" sins? For one, the media does an excellent job of marketing it. Everybody does it. And most of all, we would rather hear something bad about our neighbor than something good. Something dirty always sticks long after the conversation has died.

But the Bible strongly warns us against speaking gossip and slander. As a matter of fact, it is so important that we pay attention to our speech, that the epistle of James devotes a whole chapter warning us about the evils of our tongues (James 3).

The Belgic Confession, Article 36 - About the Magistry

2009-06-09T00:23:00.002-05:00

We believe that the Most High God has established Kings, Princes, and Magistrates, because of the corruption and depravity of the human race, and that He desires that this World be governed by these laws and firm polity for the punishment of human evils and that all things be conducted among people in a right order. For this reason He has armed the magistrates themselves with the sword, so that they would inflict evil people with punishment, and truly protect good people.

Again, it is the duty of these, not only to anxiously preserve civil polity, but also to give true effort that the holy ministry would be preserved, and that all idolatry and adultery of the worship of God would be removed from the public square, that the Kingdom of Antichrist would be destroyed, that the Kingdom of Christ would be truly extended. Finally, it is of their duty to bring it about that the sacred word of the Gospel would be preached from everywhere so that everyone, in turn, can freely worship purely and venerate God according to the prescription of His word.

Moreover, all people, of whatsoever status, or state, or respect they may be, ought to be subject to the lawful Magistrates, to pay tax and tribute to them, and to follow and obey them in all things that are not opposed to the word of God, and also to pour out prayers on their behalf so that God would deem it worthy to lead them in all of their actions, and so that we could truly lead, with all piety and honesty, a tranquil and quiet life under their very selves.

For this reason we detest all Anabaptists and anarchists, who reject their Superiors and Magistrates and subvert right and law, who make all goods common, and finally, who efface and disfigure the honest order and hierarchy that God has established among people.

Worrying About the Government's Decisions

2009-06-09T00:13:00.004-05:00

What do we do if we don’t agree with certain policies passed by our government, or agree with the choices that have been made? I certainly don't have all the answers to that question... I suppose it often depends on the severity of the situation. But one thing we can do, is rest in the sovereignty of our God:

The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. -Proverbs 21:1

Pray For Your Authority

2009-06-09T00:09:00.001-05:00

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. -1 Timothy 2:1-2

Do you do this? Do you find it easy or hard? Indeed, how do you pray for those in authority over you? How do you pray for those whose views you find yourself opposing completely?

Modeling Before Them and Encouraging Them

2009-06-04T23:47:00.007-05:00

The following is an excerpt from Martha Peace's book called "Becoming a Titus 2 Woman." It is found on pages 54-56 in the section entitled "Her Response to Younger Women." This particular section deals with "modeling before them" and "encouraging them." Copyright 1997 by Focus Publishing.

In addition to teaching what is good, a Titus 2 Woman is also to live out Biblical doctrine in her life. She respects the governing authorities (I Peter 2:17), she shows respect to the pastors of her church (I Thessalonians 5:33). She has the attitude of being FOR her husband or the younger woman’s husband, not against them (Proverbs 31:12). She is like the “Excellent Wife” in Proverbs 31:12 who “does him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life” (adaptation added).

She admits when she is wrong because she is a humble woman. She readily asks forgiveness. She does not overreact if others think she is less than perfect. It is not the end of the world and her feelings are not hurt and her life ruined if she has been reproved. She truly understands that the “wounds of a friend ARE faithful” (Proverbs 27:6, emphasis added). She is more concerned with glorifying God than in looking good or being proven right. She knows her heart is deceitful and she wants to be pruned and molded by God. As a result, God pours out His grace to her and uses her mightily for His glory.

In addition to being humble before God and others, a Titus 2 woman uses her spiritual gifts. Whether possessing the gift of teaching, exhorting, organizing, or mercy, she rightly uses her gifts not for self-edification but for their intended purpose of building up the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:12). She also unselfishly uses the talents God has given her and is generous like the “Excellent Wife” in Proverbs 31 who “extends her hand to the poor; and she stretches out her hand to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20).

A godly older Titus 2 woman does much more than just LIVE a godly life, she TALKS about the Lord; and she especially talks TO the younger woman about Him. She does not have to possess the official gift of teaching to teach the younger women. She does not hold to the view “my faith is private. I just let my life show my faith.” Certainly, her life DOES model her faith but she also speaks up and out in love as she “teaches what is good” (Titus 2:3).

In addition to teaching the younger woman, she encourages the younger woman.

Encourage is the Greek word sophronizo. It means “to recall one to his senses, to admonish (warn), to exhort, to spur on.” Sophronizo comes from the root word sophron which means “of sound mind, prudent, self-controlled, sensible.”

Sophronizo encompasses more than just the greeting card mentality of “I’m thinking of you today” or “Just a note to say ‘Hi.’” It is encouraging the younger woman to make the sensible choice. It may include energetically urging or warning her to do what is right.

This kind of encouraging is the bedfellow of teaching what is good. In other words, it takes both teaching AND sophronizo. It reminds me of the Apostle Paul. He was gifted by God as a master teacher of doctrine but intertwined throughout his teaching was “beseeching, warning, reproving, praying, urging, exhorting, and encouraging.” (See Colossians 1:28-29 and Acts 20:18-21, 31).

Jesus' View in the Midst of Political and Social Difficulties

2009-06-01T22:03:00.007-05:00

Many of the Jews believed that Christ, the Messiah, would come to deliver them from the Roman Empire. Of course we know now that this was not the intent of Jesus at all. He in fact advocated following the government’s orders even when they seemed unjust...

The following is an excerpt from "Why Government Can't Save You, An Alternative to Political Activism" by John MacArthur. From Chapter One, this section is subtitled: Political and Social Difficulties and is found on pages 9-12. Copyright 2000 by Word Publishing.

Jesus, as we would expect, perfectly maintained His Father's perspective on these matters [the greatest temporal good we can accomplish through political involvement cannot compare to what the Lord can accomplish through us in the eternal work of His kingdom], even though He lived in a society that was every bit as pagan and corrupt as today's culture. In many ways it was much worse than any of us in Western nations has ever faced. Cruel tyrants and dictators ruled throughout the region, the institution of slavery was firmly entrenched--everything was the antithesis of democracy. King Herod, the Idumean vassal of Rome who ruled Samaria and Judea, epitomized the godless kind of autocratic rule: "Then Herod, when he saw that he was deceived by the wise men [concerning the whereabouts of the baby Jesus], was exceedingly angry; and he sent forth and put to death all the male children who were in Bethlehem and in all its districts, from two years old and under" (Matt. 2:16).

Furthermore, few of us have experienced the sort of economic and legal oppression that the Romans applied to the Jew of Jesus' day. Tax rates were exorbitant and additional government-sanctioned abuses by the tax collectors exacerbated the financial burden on the people. The Jews in Palestine were afforded almost no civil rights and were treated as an underprivileged minority that could not make an appeal against legal injustices. As a result, some Jews were in constant outward rebellion against Rome.

Fanatical nationalists, known as Zealots, ignored their tax obligations and violently opposed the government. They believed that even recognizing a Gentile ruler was wrong (see Deut. 17:15, "You may not set a foreigner over you, who is not your brother"). Many Zealots became assassins, performing acts of terrorism and violence against both the Romans and other Jews whom they viewed as traitors.

It is also true that the Roman social system was built on slavery. The reality of serious abuses of slaves is part of the historical record. Yet neither Jesus nor any of the apostles attempted to abolish slavery. Instead, they told slaves to be obedient and used slavery as a metaphor for believers who were to submit to their Lord and Master.

Jesus' earthly ministry took place right in the midst of that difficult social and political atmosphere. Many of His followers, including the Twelve, to varying degrees expected Him to free them from Rome's oppressive rule. But our Lord did not come as a political deliverer or social reformer. He never issued a call for such changes, even by peaceful means. Unlike many late twentieth-century evangelicals, Jesus did not rally supporters to some grandiose attempt to "capture the culture" for biblical morality or greater political and religious freedoms. Instead, He did not hesitate to make such clear declarations as, "Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's" (Matt. 22:21), and, "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do" (Matt. 23:2-3). The pagan Roman officials and wicked Jewish leaders were not to be emulated, but they were to be obeyed.

Christ, however, was not devoid of care and concern for the daily pain and hardships people endured in their personal lives, The Gospels record His great empathy and compassion for sinners. He applied those attitudes in a tangible, practical way by healing thousands of people of every kind of disease and afflictions, often at great personal sacrifice to Himself.

Still, as beneficial and appreciated as His ministry to others' physical needs was, it was not Jesus' first priority. His divine calling was to speak to the hearts and souls of individual men and women. He proclaimed the good news of redemption that could reconcile them to the Father and grant them eternal life. That message far surpasses any agenda for political, social, or economic reform that can preoccupy us. Christ did not come to promote some new social agenda or establish a new moral order. He did come to establish a new spiritual order, the body of believers from throughout the ages that constitutes His church. He did not come to earth to make the old creation moral through social and governmental reform but to make new creatures (His people) holy though the saving power of the gospel and the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

And our Lord and Savior has commanded us to continue His ministry, with His supreme priorities in view, with the goal that we might advance His kingdom: "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:18-20).

In the truest sense, the moral, social, and political state of a people is irrelevant to the advance of the gospel. Jesus said that His kingdom was not of the world (John 18:36).

Three Examples from the Life of Christ Regarding Submission to the God-Ordained Government Authority

2009-05-27T22:54:00.006-05:00

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. "Teacher," they said, "we know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?" But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?" "Caesar's," they replied. Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.
-Matthew 22:15-22

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him." Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Greetings, Rabbi!" and kissed him. Jesus replied, "Friend, do what you came for." Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus' companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear. "Put your sword back in its place," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?" At that time Jesus said to the crowd, "Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled." Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.
-Matthew 26:47-56

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying, "Hail, king of the Jews!" And they struck him in the face. Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews, "Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him." When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, "Here is the man!" As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, "Crucify! Crucify!" But Pilate answered, "You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him." The Jews insisted, "We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God." When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, and he went back inside the palace. "Where do you come from?" he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. "Do you refuse to speak to me?" Pilate said. "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?" Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin." -John 19:1-11

Even though the taxes were high, even though Jesus’ arrest was unjust, he still submitted and respected the authorities in each and every case. He advocated paying taxes. He did not resist when he was arrested, though he knew full well the charges were false. He even reminded Pilate that Pilate’s authority came from God, and quietly submitted to death on the cross.

Why We Shouldn't Rebel Against Government Authority

2009-05-25T22:57:00.006-05:00

We so often dwell on everything bad about the government—what we disagree with, the bad choices, etc. that we don’t often take the time to think about the useful and necessary function that governing bodies provide. Useful and necessary functions like providing law and order—the government makes our society function normally, and not descend into chaos. They are here to serve justice inasmuch as it is possible. If we did not have a government structure we would really be in a heap of trouble. Sadly, because of sin and corruption in the world, many would-be criminals are only stopped from committing crimes because they know of the punishment that awaits. Those that do commit the crimes are then punished for what they have done—another important function of government. Therefore, because of these services provided by the government, we need to show them respect. God has placed these people in positions of authority over us for a reason. They are here to do certain jobs for us so that we can focus our energies on witnessing, or on ministering, instead of spending our time living in fear of criminals or defending our justices.

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Romans 13:1-7

Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king. -1 Peter 2:13-17

Examples of Discipling Younger Women

2009-05-19T13:23:00.003-05:00

The following is an excerpt from Martha Peace's book entitled "Becoming a Titus 2 Woman." It is found on page17, and is the introduction to her third chapter.

When I (Martha Peace) was a girl of about twelve my mother offered to teach me and my best friend, Anna Owen, how to sew. She took us to a fabric shop and let us choose patterns and material. I remember that my material was a beautiful pink and white striped polished cotton. It had a glossy, candy-like appearance. Since it was summertime, I chose a pattern for a sun-dress.

Mother patiently showed us how to lay out the patterns, cut out the dresses, and then sew them together. Although I did not think about it at the time, there was a great deal of love and joy for my Mother in what she was doing. I learned a lot about sewing even though I do not recall ever having the courage to wear that dress in public. Perhaps I did once. Mother, in a sense, was being a Titus 2 Woman to us. She was an older woman teaching the younger women how to care for their families and be sensible with money. As a result, she gave me a legacy that is part of me today. Although I do not have much time to sew, I still enjoy it when I can.

Just as my Mother had a desire to teach me and my friend Anna, God has given me a desire to teach the younger women how to do many things. Instead of sewing, however, I desire to teach others to "love their husbands, love their children, be kind, sensible, pure, workers at home, and be subject to their own husbands" (Titus 2:3-5). In order to accomplish this goal, when I have a Titus 2 relationship with a younger woman, I become personally involved in her life. She is my friend. I share personal things with her and we help each other become as much like the Lord Jesus Christ as possible.

Sometimes we meet together on a scheduled basis such as once a week. Other times, we simply talk on the telephone or meet for lunch. We may meet together to discuss a good Christian book we are both reading. Maybe she desires an older woman to pray with or perhaps to teach her how to pray. It could even be that she needs someone to teach her how to sew, shop for groceries, or clean her house. Depending on her areas of weakness and strength, I disciple and hold her accountable in the three areas in which God has in the past and still is maturing me: doctrine, character, and ministry.

A Warning for the "Modest"

2009-04-26T23:46:00.004-05:00

The following is cut-and-pasted from Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio program "Revive Our Hearts" from June 2, 2005: "Candles and Gunpowder."

I thought it was so important that we lay a foundation of understanding because I find that a lot of Christians are just clueless. They really haven't been trained, they haven't been taught. Let's be careful not to be too hard on those who have not been trained, not been discipled.

Before we point fingers and criticize and judge in our hearts, let's say, "What can I do to encourage this woman in her walk with the Lord?" Then remember that modesty starts in the heart. It's a heart issue before it's a clothing issue. Remember that, moms, when you're trying to get your daughters to dress modestly, don't start with the clothing issues. It's a good way to alienate your kids, and some of you can remember back to when you were a kid and how you were alienated by maybe a parent who was thinking more about externals than about the heart.

...from June 6, 2005: "What is Immodest?"

Let me just say, women, it's not our place, our right, our responsibility to criticize and condemn other women who may not realize these truths, even women in your church. There are some non-Christian women in many of our churches or new believers who've never been trained; they've never been discipled. Don't, just because you've got your long skirt and your high blouse and your long sleeves on, don't sit there, be smug, and think, "I'm so thankful I'm modest, and I can't believe all these women are so immodestly dressed in our church."

Listen, if learning all this makes you critical or hostile or angry toward others rather than compassionate and tender-hearted, then you don't have the spirit of modesty. The spirit of modesty is the spirit of humility, purity, and self-control. It means that you want to come alongside of and love other women who need to be educated and taught and mentored in these areas.

(Prayer) Thank you that no other woman is the standard, but Your Word is the standard. So help us to know how to take those principles and how to apply them, and then how to live them out. Not that we might be prudes or negative shriveled up old women, but that we'd be women filled with joy and the spirit that's radiant and attracts people to us because they're being attracted to You for all the right reasons.

Three Basic Principles We Must Understand Before We Can Truly Submit to Modesty

2009-04-26T23:05:00.009-05:00

The following is a summary from Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio program "Revive Our Hearts" from May 27, 2005 "Free to be Modest."

OWNERSHIP

1 Corinthians 6:19 - "Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God. You are not your own for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

An immodestly dressed woman is giving something away that doesn't belong to her.

LORDSHIP

Romans 14:9 - "For this very reason Christ died and returned to life so that He might be the Lord of both the dead and the living."

You know what it means when we say that Jesus is Lord? It means that God has the right to regulate every area of our lives, including what we wear. Are you governed by fashion? Are you governed by the culture? Are you governed by your friends' opinions? Or are you governed by Christ and His Word? Who is your Lord? You see, you and I are not to be enslaved to anything or anyone other than Jesus--to have any Lord other than Him is to be a slave.

CITIZENSHIP

Leviticus 18:3 - According to the doings of the land of Egypt, where you dwelt, you shall not do; and according to the doings of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you, you shall not do; nor shall you walk in their ordinances.

The fact is that you and I do not belong to this world--we live in a different kingdom.

1 John 2:15 - Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

First, it means that we are not to be conformed to this world.
Second, we're not to love the world--having a heart for this world and its system and its way of thinking. When using the word "love" we're talking about gravitating to the way this world thinks.

Modesty from a Man's Point of View

2009-04-26T22:56:00.005-05:00

The following is cut-and-pasted from Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio program "Revive Our Hearts" from June 2, 2005: "Candles and Gunpowder."

I want to read one of the responses to you from a young man who was a college student at a Christian college; a young man who has a strong heart for the Lord but has had a lot of moral struggles in his past before he came to know the Lord. He starts by acknowledging that lust is a very real enemy in the life of a male, both whether he's a Christian or a non-Christian, and he said,

"We, as men, are fully responsible for our own sexual choices and behavior. However, there is a catalyst that intensifies the sinful desires we battle in our minds. That catalyst is the lack of feminine modesty. We cannot excuse our sin by blaming it on others, but it's tough for a man in the battle to find a refuge when the Church of Christ, that should be his safeguard, is sometimes filled with more provocative images than the enemy's ground."

"I know there are some men who do not struggle with lust to the degree of others, but to the vast majority, a lack of feminine modesty is the spark that can ignite the fire. So that's why as men we need the help of women. We need for you to recognize our weakness and to understand the importance of discretion and modesty."

“Low cut blouses, exposed breasts, thin fabrics and undergarments that give sensual, visual impressions of a woman's body; tight pants that reveal the lines of undergarments; short midriff blouses that expose bellies and hips; short skirts, skirts with high slits, and undergarments that are exposed when women and teens are careless about how they sit, walk and move around. These seemingly insignificant issues can draw men into the trap of sinful thoughts. And these thoughts acted upon can lead to sinful, sexual acts such as pornography and various types of personal and even violent, immoral behavior."

"Along these lines, I think of a fellow student, a dear Christian friend, who feels called to disciple young women in the area of purity. She leads Bible studies on modesty, but her appearance contradicts all that she stands for. There is seldom an occasion that I am in her presence that I am not exposed to brightly colored undergarments showing above her low cut pants or under her shirt, her tanned belly or other private parts when she bends down or leans over. Her shirts are tight; her skirts are short. Her shorts are even shorter, and her pants are skintight in the most provocative regions. I am left to fight the battle whenever I am in her presence."

"I suspect a majority of the Christian women are oblivious to the fact that they are being used as a weapon against men who really do desire to walk in integrity and purity. I plead and beg," he says, "for the godly women of America to take notice of their brothers' needs and to assist us in our war against the flesh."

The World's Philosophies vs. The Christian's Philosophies When it Comes to Getting Dressed

2009-04-26T22:34:00.005-05:00

The following is paraphrased from Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio program "Revive Our Hearts" from May 26, 2005: "Philosophies in Conflict."

The World Says: Beauty is physical, beauty is external.
The Christian Understands: The heart of beauty, true beauty whether or not you have it outwardly, is something that is internal and spiritual.

The World Says: The way you feel about your body is equivalent to the way you feel about yourself.
The Christian Understands: Your body is not your identity. It's a casing for your spirit, for your soul. It's a temple. It's not the external temple that really matters. It's what is inside, the presence of God. The body is packaging; it's not the essence of your identity.

The World Says: You are the product of evolution, and as a result you are the highest authority there is. Your body belongs to you. No one else has any say or control over it.
The Christian Understands: Your body doesn't belong to you, but your body belongs to God. If you're a married woman, your body belongs to someone else, and that is your husband. If you are ever going to be a married woman, your body belongs to someone else. And you're just keeping it, saving it, protecting it, preserving it for him.

The World Says: People dress in order for other people to notice.
The Christian Understands: We dress not to have other people notice us so much as to first please God.

The World Says: The purpose of clothing is to reveal the body.
The Christian Understands: The purpose of clothing is to cover the body.

The World Says: If you've got it, flaunt it. Advertise what you've got available.
The Christian Understands: I want to draw attention to the life of Jesus within me, to my spirit, to my countenance, to the fullness of the Holy Spirit within me.

The World Says: If you want to be loved, you have to be beautiful, sensual and alluring.
The Christian Understands: You're already loved, you're loved by God in a deeper and richer and more meaningful and eternal way than you could ever be loved by any human being.

The World Says: Clothing is driven by fashion--what's in; what's hot.
The Christian Understands: Clothing is driven by the heart and the Word of God.

You see, Christian modesty is first and foremost a way of thinking. It's a way of thinking that manifests itself in the way that we dress, in the way that we talk, in the way that we act, and in the attitudes that we communicate.

The women who've adopted the world's philosophy of fashion and clothing are not free. You'll never be truly free until you're free to do what God wants you to do regardless of what anything or anyone else dictates to you.

A Great Resource for Tackling Modesty

2009-04-26T22:20:00.004-05:00

At our April 16 Tea & Titus meeting we "covered" the topic of modesty! For anyone who would like to look further into that subject or who is struggling with how to present that topic to a loved-one, please look into Nancy Leigh DeMoss's radio archives regarding Modesty. She has a 15 message series that is featured right on the website, along with the complete transcript. It's a great listen or read for anyone interested in learning more about what the Bible says about modesty.

Jesus Understands

2009-04-16T13:26:00.006-05:00

An excerpt from the book entitled "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. The following list is found on page 135.

"Jesus wept" is famous as the shortest verse in the Bible, but to me the real power of that two-word passage from the story of Lazarus is the reassurance that Jesus understands what life is like for us. He doesn't ask anything of us that he wasn't willing to do himself, and he promises to be with us in all we have to go through. For example:

Jesus knew temptation: "He was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan" (Mark 1:13).
Jesus knew poverty: "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head" (Matthew 8:20).
Jesus knew frustration: "He scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables... 'Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!'" (John 2:15-16).
Jesus knew weariness: "Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well" (John 4:6).
Jesus knew disappointment: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem... how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks,... but you were not willing" (Luke 13:34).
Jesus knew rejecton: "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him" (John 6:66).
Jesus knew sorrow: "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Matthew 26:38).
Jesus knew ridicule: "Again and again they struck him...and spit on him. Falling on their knees they paid [mocking] homage to him" (Mark 15:19).
Jesus knew loneliness: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. -Hebrews 4:15

Trials or Trails

2009-04-13T10:23:00.007-05:00

"Are you looking for completeness in Christ? Are you willing to get it the hard way? James tells us not to be surprised when trials come our way." - Renewing Your Mind with RC Sproul

SFURC holds a weekly radio program entitled "The Reformed Study Hour" on 1270AM Sunday afternoons from 5-6pm. About twenty minutes into the program this past Easter Sunday I remembered to turn the radio on. I caught the last 10 minutes of RC Sproul's "Trials or Trails" and found it to be very interesting and applicable to what we have been discussing. So when I got home from church in the evening I got on my computer and found the internet archive for the message. If you are going through a trial in your life and you can find a half hour to listen to this message, I think you will find it time well spent as RC brings comfort from the book of James. (When entering the Ligonier webpage search the listings for the 04/11/09 message.)

How Can I Talk to Others About the Suffering They Are Experiencing?

2009-04-10T15:37:00.002-05:00

1. Weep with those who weep.

Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place--Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:11-13

2. Share God's Providence, Soveriegnty, and Priesthood (Lord's Day 9 and 10, Psalm 103:9, Romans 8:28-29, Hebrews 2:17-18, Hebrews 4:14-16)

3. Share a story from your own experience.

4. Share a story from the Scriptures (Israelites in Egypt - Exodus 5, Hannah - 1 Samuel 1, Job, Joeseph - Gen. 37-45...)

Heidelberg Catechism: God the Father

2009-04-08T23:04:00.003-05:00

Lord's Day 9
Q & A 26

Q. What do you believe when you say,
"I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth"?

A. That the eternal Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who out of nothing created heaven and earth
and everything in them,
who still upholds and rules them
by his eternal counsel and providence,
is my God and Father
because of Christ his Son.

I trust him so much that I do not doubt
he will provide
whatever I need
for body and soul,
and he will turn to my good
whatever adversity he sends me
in this sad world.

He is able to do this because he is almighty God;
he desires to do this because he is a faithful Father.

Lord's Day 10
Q & A 27

Q. What do you understand
by the providence of God?

A. Providence is
the almighty and ever present power of God
by which he upholds, as with his hand,
heaven and earth
and all creatures,
and so rules them that
leaf and blade,
rain and drought,
fruitful and lean years,
food and drink,
health and sickness,
prosperity and poverty—
all things, in fact, come to us
not by chance
but from his fatherly hand.

Q & A 28

Q. How does the knowledge of God's creation
and providence help us?

A. We can be patient when things go against us,
thankful when things go well,
and for the future we can have
good confidence in our faithful God and Father
that nothing will separate us from his love.
All creatures are so completely in his hand
that without his will
they can neither move nor be moved.

What If the Truth Doesn’t Comfort?

2009-04-08T22:36:00.002-05:00

The following is an excerpt from page 18 of The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Winter 2001 issue, written by Michael W. Bobick, Pastor of Calvary Community Church in Phillipsburg, New Jersey.

God’s providential control over all things is indeed a great certainty in crises. But perhaps you have had the experience of trying to help someone who has just fallen upon a crisis. You tried to encourage him with the truth of God’s loving providence, but the truth didn’t take. No comfort came; rather, God’s sovereignty seemed like salt in your friend’s wound. Or perhaps in your own suffering you have tried to extract hope from the flower of God’s providence. No nectar came; perhaps, even for a moment, it tasted more like poison. What went wrong? Was it an inappropriate time to say what you did? That, of course, is possible; we are told to “weep with those who weep”; and not to “sing songs to a sorrowing heart.” Could it be that you responded out of unbelief, rather than faith? Certainly at our best moments we say, “I believe, help my unbelief.” But is it possible that you gave a one-sided representation of God? Could it be that you omitted the priesthood of Christ as you presented the providence of God? Might you have choked on the bones of a doctrine abstracted from Christ, who is the face of God for us?

You see what I am suggesting. The providence of God truly cannot be understood apart from the priesthood of Christ. The providence of God may not minister help to people in crisis unless, right along with it, we show the human face of Christ. The immediate question of “Why, Lord?” erupts when a crisis arises. It is not enough to tell the parents of the abducted girl that God is sovereign. You must also communicate that Jesus the High Priest feels the trials of His people and carries their burdens in His heart. It is not enough to tell the soon-to-be unemployed father of seven that God is sovereign. You must tell him that his Savior in heaven was tempted by crippling anxiety as well, and can give him help now. Providence and priesthood: both are ultimate truths. What God has put together, let no one separate.

How Can I Understand Suffering in My Own Life?

2009-04-07T16:20:00.005-05:00

“Can we wish, if it were possible, to walk a path strewed with flowers when His was strewed with thorns?” -John Newton

Suffering in our own lives gives us the opportunity to follow the example of Christ. We can take comfort in the fact that Jesus Christ himself was tempted, resisted, and now is glorified forever in heaven.

Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted. -Hebrews 2:17-18

Another way to look at our own sufferings is to understand that by going through these hardships God is preparing us to minister to others who are suffering. We've all been there--remembering the pain of our own past experiences and being given the opportunity to minister to a friend suffering the same trial.

Do you also find that you spend more time in prayer and devotion when things are going bad? This is another way that God brings us closer to him in times of crisis—we communicate with him usually more when things are going badly than when they are going well.

But even if our sufferings should lead us to death, God can still use our lives as an example to others of how to live for God’s glory. For a real life example from neighboring town Sanborn, Iowa of a life and death suffered for the glory of God, read the Cella Bosma Caring Bridge site.

So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name. -Acts 5:41

Why Do Bad Things Happen?

2009-04-03T10:36:00.007-05:00

My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
-Psalm 139:15-16

The Lord our God has plans for us, those plans are good... but they are not always what we think they should be. As a matter of fact, time and time again the Lord brought His people through all kinds of suffering and later on made His purpose clear. Imagine the frustration of Moses when God told him to tell Pharoah to let his people go, only to be met with more severe suffering and slavery? But in the end, God was glorified through their suffering and they could "...remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there by a mighty hand and by an outstretched arm..." (Duet. 5:15).

In the Fall 2002 issue of Journal of Biblical Counseling, William P. Smith notes that "I have come to learn that much of the fruit of the Spirit grows under adverse conditions." (pg. 32) Therefore, while our culture tends to ask the Lord to remove the burdens from our backs--we might do even better to ask Him to give us stronger backs. If you are not suffering, you would be wise to hit your knees and ask God where is your refining fire?

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial
which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened
to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's
sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be
glad with exceeding joy. -1 Peter 4:12-13

A life of ease is exactly opposite of what the Bible tells us Christianity is all about. Have you found this to be true in your own life? To be continued...

Spiritual Mothering

2009-04-02T10:05:00.005-05:00

From the book "Becoming God's True Woman" ed. by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

The following excerpt is found on page 162 and

written by contributing author Susan Hunt.

Everywhere I go I (Susan Hunt) meet young women who long for spiritual mothers. Some express a sense of loneliness, and yet they do not even realize that the disconnection they feel is because they do not have nurturing relationships with older women. Our postmodern age is characterized by isolation. The feminist movement made many promises, but the push for independence and autonomy has left women confused and alone. This is our opportunity. The time is ripe. Women are seeking answers. It is time for Christian women to step into this vacuum and show and tell the truth about womanhood.

But where are the older women?

In recent years I have observed a troubling phenomenon. Many women of my generation (Susan Hunt) have relinquished this high calling of nurturing younger women. My generation has abandoned this calling for many reasons. Some simply do not know this biblical mandate. The church has not sounded this call for many decades. Some think they have nothing to offer. Some are intimidated by the intelligence and giftedness of younger women. Some have decided this is the season to indulge themselves. Some want to share their life experiences, but they feel isolated from the younger women and don't know how to bridge that gap.

I plead with the church to call and equip women for this ministry. God is gifting his church with incredible young women. They are a sacred trust. We must be good stewards of this gift. Many are first-generation Christians. Many are separated from their extended families because of the mobility of our society. We must exemplify the faith to them, and we must teach them how to show and tell the truths of biblical womanhood to the next generation. The implications of whether we accept or abandon this calling will reverberate for generations to come.

Shouldn't Christians Be Spared From Suffering?

2009-04-01T15:04:00.003-05:00

It is difficult for us to understand why a sister dies of cancer leaving three young children without a mother, why a grandmother suffers from Alzheimer’s, why a best friend’s marriage is falling apart. Those of us who have grown up in the Reformed tradition have memorized the catechism, have memorized Bible verses, have the “head knowledge” as to why these things happen—the sovereignty of God. We know that we can’t know the mind of God. But when bad things happen to us, it just seems like those answers don’t make sense anymore.

Join us on Thursday, April 2 at 7:30 pm when Sharon Schreur will lead the study "When Bad Things Happen." We'll use Scripture to learn about 1) Why bad things happen--to everyone, but especially to Chrstians, 2) How we can understand the sufferings in our own lives, and 3) How we can talk to others about the sufferings present in their lives.